How to fix these 25 common relationship problems and prevent a relationship breakdown

How to deal with these common relationship issues

Clearly, you’re going through a tough time otherwise you wouldn’t have been searching for help with your relationship problems.

I’m so sorry to know you’re at a loss on what to do to fix your issues to prevent a relationship breakdown.

I’m a relationship counsellor and psychotherapist with 24 years of experience. I have helped hundreds of people deal with their problems in various settings. I have worked at a doctor’s surgery, a middle school and a large police service. I also had a private practice.

My aim now is to help you by providing you with expert advice to turn the tide and help save your relationship or marriage.

Scroll down to find the problem you fear might lead to a relationship breakdown. Click the links (they open in a new tab) to discover a ton of expert, actionable relationship advice, detailed information and tips to help you fix your relationship troubles.

Fixing your relationship issues

Expert advice on how to solve these 25 relationship issues and difficulties

1. Affairs/infidelity/cheating – these relationship problems definitely require help

For relationship issues involving infidelity, see: How to survive infidelity and Signs your partner or spouse is cheating. This includes emotional infidelity, one-night stands, internet relationships (including s(t)exting), long- and short-term affairs, financial infidelity and why do people cheat in relationships.

2. Physical relationship issues

Click the links for relationship problems and issues concerning your physical relationship, such as loss of libido (male and female) or no longer making love at all and uncertainty about your- or your partner’s gender identity.

3. Significant differences leading to relationship issues

You may have been able to live with your partner or spouse’s core values and beliefs. Over time, though, they can begin to rub. Also, your core values and beliefs might change as you get older.

The greater the difference, the more likely they’re causing relationship issues.

For relationship problems relating to core values and beliefs differences, see Relationship compatibility questions to help you become clear about your wants and needs in this relationship.

4. Life stages impacting your relationship

You’re having relationship issues because you seem to have outgrown each other or changed significantly for whatever reason.

The menopause, for example, is a stage during which women often re-evaluate their life.

To discover how you can fix your relationship problems, see How to help your wife through the menopause and How to be an (emotionally) supportive spouse.

5. Traumatic events leading to relationship issues

A traumatic event can lead to the two of you growing closer, or it can cause considerable relationship problems.

Let it be the former! Read the following articles to understand what’s happened and for help and advice on how you can protect your relationship.

See my List with PTSD symptoms (see also: Brain injury symptoms), Coping with PTSD. Discover how to help your spouse with PTSD.

6. Prolonged stress creating relationship issues

Responses to prolonged periods of stress, such as work-related stress, long-term illness, mental health issues, financial problems, troubles with the children, infertility…

… The list could go on. These kinds of stresses can undermine your mental health, which often lead to a build-up of relationship issues.

7. Boredom – having a boring spouse or relationship

Feeling bored in or with your relationship and growing apart (80%)⧉ can cause relationship problems.

Communication often breaks down as you both become irritated and disappointed with each other.

8. Jealousy worsening relationship issues

Dealing – and coping – with a jealous partner and overcoming jealousy yourself can create an atmosphere of distrust in both partners.

9. Blended family issues

Maybe you’ve married someone you really love, but life can become very hard if either one or both of you have children.

Even if the children get on well, they’ll still have their spats which can be oh so tiresome.

The children will doubtless also voice their opinion over the other parent. They’ll also know how to manipulate a situation to their advantage.

They’ve gone through a lot with the breakup of their original family!

For advice on how to fix your relationship problems, see: My partner’s children don’t want to know me and Your adult children are rejecting your new partner.

10. Abusive relationship issues

Domestic violence, which includes verbal, emotional, mental, sexual, financial, and physical abuse, is one of the most serious relationship problems.

For information, help and advice, please hop over to:

• Signs of an abusive relationship
• Signs of emotional abuse
• How to ‘win’ the silent treatment
• Your spouse ‘hates’ you
• Abusive relationship test.

See also: My husband doesn’t find me attractive anymore and How to deal with a narcissistic husband for relationship help and tips.

11. You know you should never have married this person

Knowing you shouldn’t have got married in the first place!

There can be all sorts of reasons why you felt you needed to marry at the time: familial or cultural pressure, you worried you’d be left on the shelf, you were in love even though you knew your future spouse was abusive, etd

It’s time to take action. Start by taking my relationship or marriage compatibility test) to discover the extent of your relationship issues.

12. Lack of responsibility from one partner

Perhaps you feel you’re the only one taking responsibility for your finances, children, health and many other chores and issues.

If you’re already separated or divorced, read my article Children in the middle.

13. Unrealistic expectations

Your partner or spouse cannot fulfil all your dreams, wants and needs.

If you’re having relationship problems, you might also want to ask yourself if one or both of you have unrealistic expectations of a relationship.

Why not both take my Relationship Compatibility Test? You’ll discover where you each could step up to the plate and contribute to making your relationship work.

14. Addictions

Is either one of you addicted?

Does either one of you suffer substance abuse, gambling, adult content and physically intimate relationships or anything else that causes an unhealthy preoccupation? Then, doubtless, you’re having relationship issues.

For help and advice, see: Alcoholism stages and Living with an alcoholic). Also, read what you can do when your spouse is lying all the time.

15. Excessive reliance on social media causes relationship issues

Is your partner addicted to social media?

Do you have trouble getting their attention because they’re constantly distracted by notices on their mobile?

It’s time to have a conversation about the future of your relationship. Once your partner realises how their connection with their mobile undermines your relationship, you can encourage them perhaps to prioritise you instead of their social media ‘friends’.

You may be able to reverse the damage by downloading my free Communication Tool for Couples. It’s chockful of fun relationship-building exercises, guides and tests.

Read also my article Social Media Problems.

16. Lack of support during difficult times

Life has a way of delivering a left-hooker. Few relationships last for years without partners having to deal with problems of some sort causing troubled times.

All of us need help and support sometimes – from our partner and other people that matter to us.

Here are my articles to help you help your spouse or partner or someone else:

• How to help your partner with OCD
• What to do when your spouse is having a nervous breakdown
• How to help your spouse with PTSD
• How to help your wife through the menopause
• How to help someone having a breakdown.

17. Manipulation of, or over-involvement from family or friends

Family and friends can be the cause of relationship issues when they become overinvolved in your relationship.

However, among them are doubtless also real stars who can and are willing to offer a listening ear and support.

To make sure you’re not inviting the wrong person to listen to your troubles, read my article on getting the right relationship advice.

18. Struggling with relationship problems due to lack of communication

Keeping a close couple relationship vibrant, rewarding, comfortable as well as exciting (or any other way you want it to be) can be really challenging.

Good communication is key. So, download my free Loving Communication Kit for Couples for help, advice and tips. It includes fun quizzes and exercises.

19. Relational issues caused by the poor division of chores and tasks

It’s most often women who complain about this issue, particularly if children are involved.

Ask yourself who picks up a sick child from school when both of you work. It very often is the mother.

However, it’s not only women complaining about this relationship problem! These days dads often share the childrearing.

If your partner or spouse appears to take on the lion’s share of everything that needs doing, take the time to thank them. Writing Loving Thank You notes will help them feel seen, valued and loved.

20. Struggling through lack of concern, care and consideration/attentiveness

Doubtless, when one of you is feeling unloved and neglected, you’ll be encountering relationship issues.

To learn how you can reverse that pattern, hop over to my articles:

• How to ‘make’ your partner fall in love with you again
• How to make your wife fall in love with you again
• 24 healthy relationship tips for couples.

21. Significant personal upsetting events involving a loss leading to relationship problems

Any significant, impactful event can change your relationship dynamics when there are losses involved.

For example, one of you losing your job, going to jail, losing your home, or the death of a loved one or any such other life-changing event might spark a downturn in your relationship.

However, it could also offer the opportunity for the two of you to grow closer!

22. Long-term depression or other mental health issues

Keeping a relationship going can be difficult at the best of times, but when one of you or both suffer from long-term mental health issues, you’re dealing with an added layer of challenges.

However, there’s every possibility that you’re successful in preventing a relationship breakdown if you can deliver on empathy and keep the channels of communication open.

You may find the following articles helpful:

• Treating depression without medication
• Natural remedies for sleeplessness
• How to recover from a mental breakdown

23. Differences with regards to raising the children

If your relationship difficulties have led to separation and divorce, read how you can make it possible for the children to love each one of you in my article How Divorce Affects Children and Children in the Middle.

24. Not addressing personal and relationship difficulties

Long-term stress caused by a failure to tackle personal problems may ultimately lead to a relationship breakdown through ever-increasing irritation, lack of empathy and poor communication.

Long-term stress caused by one of you refusing to engage in trying to resolve your relationship problems can lead to the other giving up, resulting in separation and divorce.

See my article on 10 ways to deal with relationship stress.

25. Lack of support during pregnancy and after the birth of the baby

It’s no wonder you feel alone if your partner or spouse doesn’t seem to be supporting you.

It can help to know the reason for their withdrawal so that the two of you can do something about it. Hopefully, you can prevent a complete relationship breakdown.

The following articles may be of help:

• Dealing with an unsupportive partner during pregnancy
• How to be a supportive spouse during pregnancy
• Coping with a traumatic birth
• Overcoming relationship problems after the baby.

The link between your emotional needs and relationship problems

Let’s talk a little now about what might underlie your distress. It might stop you from focusing on blaming your partner or spouse because clearly, you also play a role in your present struggles (notice I don’t write about ‘fault’!).

You, as your partner is, and we all are, are born with a set of essential emotional needs. You’re likely to thrive instead of just surviving when most of those needs are met.

Think thereby of the need for attention, safety and security, self-esteem, love, friendship, community and a sense of control and volition.

A close couple relationship offers an ideal opportunity to meet those needs.

However, expecting that your partner can and should meet all of your needs invariably leads to the creation of relationship problems.

It’s neither healthy nor desirable that you’re entirely dependent on the other.

You’ll want to be interdependent and rely on each other while you each remain responsible for your own well-being. Neglecting your emotional needs can lead to mental health problems and relationship issues.

Whenever you think people are withholding from you – praise, appreciation, assistance, loving care, and so on – give it to them. You don’t have it? Act as if you have it and it will come. Then, soon after you start giving, you will start receiving. You cannot receive what you don’t give.

Eckhart tolle, A New Earth

Not found the right help to fix your relationship problems?

Maybe you haven’t found anything on how to fix your relationship problems in the above.

In that case, do take a look at my sitemap. I have written many articles on a diverse range of emotional difficulties and relationship issues. You’re bound to discover one that can help you prevent a relationship breakdown.

Finally

The good news is that having relationship problems and worrying they’ll lead to a complete relationship breakdown offers an opportunity to grow as a human being. That is if you do not just blame your spouse or partner but take the chance to look at your own role in the matter.

You now have a ton of information, tips, and advice on overcoming your relationship problems and repairing your marriage.

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