About Elly

I’m so honoured you’re here and I’d like to help

My name is Elly, I am the founder and author (oh… and webmaster!) of this site.

I am Dutch, but I lived in the UK for 33 years – hence I write in British English (just in case you wonder about my dodgy spelling if you’re from the USA for example).

You have landed here because life is tough for you right now – hang on in there – I believe in you! I know that you were born not just to survive but to thrive, and I want you to hold on to that belief too – every single day. And I’m hoping to help you feel better soon with my writing.

I’m aiming to increase your knowledge, awareness and understanding of the psychology of human relationships so that you’ll feel stronger in the face of your difficulties (we all have those!).

I hope to empower you to be bold, and courageously make the necessary changes to enable you to overcome your problems. Ultimately, this will help you to regain your peace of mind and happiness.

I aim to create the most helpful articles I can – based on my 24 years of experience as a professional (relationship) counsellor/therapist.

I sincerely hope that the information in my articles will contribute to your happiness and contentment in your intimate couple relationship(s).

What qualifies me to write these articles?

On leaving college I qualified as a pharmacy technician. Thereafter I became a surgery nurse working for family doctors. And, after my move to the UK, I became an Operating Theatre Technician.

I retrained (again!) and became a professional counsellor…

  • I qualified as a RELATE counsellor, working with individuals and couples for 24 years. I received additional training in dealing with domestic violence, addictions, grief counselling and counselling young people. I mentored new counsellors and was a representative on the local executive committee.
  • I undertook additional courses at the Open University: Biology, Brain and Behaviour, and Death, Dying and Bereavement.
  • I qualified as an NLP Practitioner with the ‘father of  NLP’: Richard Bandler and UK renowned hypnotherapist Paul McKenna.
  • Lastly, I gained the Human Givens Postgraduate Diploma accredited by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA). This qualification allowed me to get rapid results treating people with conditions such as depression and anxiety, and particularly trauma.
  • I was a trauma specialist with a large UK county police service for 12 years (see Certificate of Merit).
  • I was a school counsellor at Mayfield Grammar School for 11 years and in private practice for 22 years. I also provided a counselling service in a doctor’s surgery for 2 years.
    Until I remigrated to the Netherlands I was an Accredited Member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) until my semi-retirement (I work near-enough full-time on this site!)
    I have the benefit of life experience and the wisdom that comes with age

A great article with a huge amount of knowledge. I have experienced this and its not a nice position to be in. The hardest part was facing my children. Years on, I took it as a learning and now writing a PhD on my life experience from a place of survival on the outside to transformation through education. Thank you for a very insightful and heart touching truthful and real article.

Wishes to remain anonymous

CLICK HERE for testimonials and here for my LinkedIn profile.

“Traumatic incidents: a new way to help police cope Elly Prior adds a human givens twist to a programme to help police help their colleagues handle trauma.”
“Trauma Risk Management (TRiM) at Kent Police Elly Prior explains how a military model has been adapted for the police.”

My values

My values are kindness, empathy, integrity, loyalty, fairness, openness, self-awareness, personal growth and second, third and sometimes many more chances.

Do I screw up? Don’t we all! :-) That’s life and I’m learning and making changes as I go along.

I understand that I, like everyone else, unconsciously absorb dodgy beliefs from the culture in which I grew up. No matter how thoughtful, well-meaning and caring I aim to be, I accept that I harbour subconscious prejudicial assumptions.

I can only reassure you that I actively scan myself looking for such beliefs, in my thoughts and my communications.

Organisations I support

I support the Afghan Children’s Mobile CircusAvaaz.org and Zidisha (person-to-person micro-loans). It’s my way of paying it forward to organisations that make a difference in the world.

Zidisha person-to-person micro-loans

Going through a difficult time?

However tough things are for you right now, there are always things to be grateful for. To get some inspiration, please do watch this video to the end

May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”

Nelson Mandela

In need of counselling or therapy?

Possibly you were hoping I could help you with your problems. I’m so very sorry that, unfortunately, I’m unable to be there for you personally. Please, click here to read more about why this is.

I am focusing all my energy on making as much information freely available here on my site to help as many people as possible.

I can’t tell you how satisfying it feels to be able to reach soooo many people through my articles. In the past, my professional organisation allowed me to counsel a maximum of 20 people a week!

Although I can’t help you personally, I certainly can point you in the right direction. You can connect with a professional, licensed therapist (a fee-based service), who will take all the time it needs to really ‘get you’, and support and guide you.

Here is my sincerest wish for you…

May the stars carry your sadness away. May the flowers fill your heart with beauty. May hope forever wipe away your tears, and above all, may your silence make you strong.Chief Dan George

Do remember though that your silence may not necessarily be golden. I, therefore, hope that you do find someone you can really trust so that you can open your heart and share your troubles.

See also:

  • Datingadvice.com: Professional Counselling: Therapist Elly Prior Explains How Mental Health Issues Impact Relationships — And What to Do About It
  • Datingnews.com: Professional Counselor Elly Prior Has Created Down-to-Earth Dating Resources to Help People Navigate Personal Challenges
  • BACP Counselling at Work: Trauma Risk Management (TRiM) at Kent Police, Elly Prior explains how a military model has been adapted for the police

Just a little about me privately

Photo of Elly, with her dog Teske

With my Frisian Stabyhoun Teske

My father printed the local paper in a small town in the Netherlands. I am the eldest of five children. I am divorced and have one son. I live in a tiny village (uhhh… it has city rights!), love to walk my dog, row (St Ayles skiff), read, and spend lots of time with my family and friends.

I spend much of my time, however, maintaining and improving my website.

‘Ode’ to my father

My father was my inspiration. He was always cheerful, positive, kind and considerate. I feel immense gratitude towards him and my mother for their love and the great start in life they gave me.

Photo: tray of book printing letters
My father printed the local newspaper in the old-fashioned letter-by-letter way

Image of Elly courtesy of:
Maayke de Ridder Photography and Vis a Vis Designers