Categorie: Better Relationships | Author and Publisher: Elly Prior | First published: 07-08-2014 | Modified: 04-03-2019
The likelihood is that you've landed on this page by clicking on a link in one of my emails (or via my blog).
Perhaps you were hoping that I could help you, because you're feeling hurt, let down, sad or just totally stressed out.
You may be worrying where it might all lead to and whether you, or your partner, can stick it out - your marriage, your job, your studies or even life itself.
On this page I'll help you find the right kind of free or affordable services for you. I'll also explain why I unfortunately can't offer you any personal support or advice myself, however much I'd like to.
Every day I get requests from visitors to my site:
And many more requests like these.
I find it really hard that I can't respond to such calls for help with support and advice, because I so understand how frightened, hurt or angry you might feel.
However, there are a couple of key reasons why I can't...
Counselling, whether it is free, low-cost or fairly paid, requires the same commitment and investment from the practitioner in terms of:
... training (many years at significant costs)
... maintenance of registration
... regular clinical consultation/supervision (also costly)
... and time to be available for - and of use to - each and every client, be that face-to-face or by email.
Even if just one of those things is missing, it's likely that any counselling you receive won't be as beneficial for you as it could be.
Many a (couple- or marriage counsellor) or psychotherapist offers time to a charitable organisation as well as running a private practice or working for a helping organisation. Or they spend time offering free quality information in some other way.
I personally spend most of my working days developing my website and regularly adding new articles with advice for all kinds of problems. The majority of the information here is freely available, but this does mean I don't have any time left over to give high quality personalised advice.
Here's what would be required if I'd offer you counselling...
I would need to know tons about you if I were to be able to help you personally.
I'd have to ask you many questions to really understand how you (and your partner) feel.
I would need to know how you manage in your own particular situation: how you cope or not, what your hopes and dreams are.
I would need to know the where, when and what of your behaviour (and that of your partner).
You can perhaps imagine how much time that would take to do per email!
I hope this page helps you to understand why I really can't answer any questions by email or in any other way.
My time is best spent developing this website to the best of my ability, so that as many people as possible - across the world - can benefit from the free information and advice I provide.
Helping and working on yourself (yes, I know it sounds boring, probably not what you want and possibly fluffy!) is the most affordable and effective way to bring about positive changes in your life! You may not even need any free or affordable counselling at all.
To be your own counsellor, all you need is - in no particular order:
Only $36 (saving $12)
Now, I suspect that you may need a bit of a head-start, and this is where I can help you because my website is packed full of information and advice.
So, do keep exploring the site!
Read all you can - even if you think it doesn't apply to you, because it can help 'embed' new knowledge. Reading and re-reading stuff helps you to remember it.
Spend time imagining how you'd apply the advice you read to your situation. Imagine yourself acting out the information in rich, detailed, movie-form - as if you're already in that situation.
Get additional help - connect with an online, professional, licensed therapist - you won't have to commit to lengthy ongoing sessions. Even a couple of sessions can potentially make all the difference.
Whatever you do, do something! Don't keep putting it off - the problem won't go away by itself.
Now you know that, unfortunately, I personally can't offer you the help you need, have a look at my page on getting the right kind of counselling for you.
Here are some other ideas on how you may be able to get free or low-cost couple or marriage counselling near you:
I wish I could have been of more help to you, to have been able to reach out to you personally. I know from professional as well as personal experience how tough life can be and how much you need someone to be there for you, to have your back and support you.
Know that you are much stronger than you think you are. You've got this. I'm rooting for you!