My name is Elly, I am the founder and author (oh... and webmaster!) of this site.
I am Dutch, but I lived in the UK for 33 years - hence I write in British English (just in case you wonder about my dodgy spelling, if you're from the USA for example).
You have landed here because life is tough for you right now - hang on in there - I believe in you! I know that you were born not just to survive but to thrive, and I want you to hold on to that belief too - every single day. And I'm hoping to help you feel better soon by my writing.
I'm aiming to increase your knowledge, awareness and understanding of the psychology of human relationships so that you'll feel stronger in the face of your difficulties (we all have those!).
I hope to empower you to be bold, and courageously make the necessary changes to enable you to overcome your problems. Ultimately, this will help you to regain your peace of mind and happiness.
I aim to create the most helpful articles I can - based on my 24 years of experience as a professional (relationship) counsellor/therapist.
I sincerely hope that the information in my articles will contribute to your happiness and contentment in your intimate couple relationship(s).
On leaving college I qualified as pharmacy technician. Thereafter I became a surgery nurse working for family doctors. And, after my move to the UK, I became a Operating Theatre Technician.
I retrained (again!) and became a professional counsellor...
My values are kindness, empathy, integrity, loyalty, fairness, openness, self-awareness, personal growth and second, third and sometimes many more chances.
Do I screw up? Don't we all! :-) That's life and I'm learning and making changes as I go along.
I understand that I, like everyone else, unconsciously absorb dodgy beliefs from the culture in which I grew up. No matter how thoughtful, well-meaning and caring I aim to be, I accept that I harbour subconscious prejudicial assumptions.
I can only reassure you that I actively scan myself looking for such beliefs, in my thoughts and my communications.
However tough things are for you right now, there are always things to be grateful for. To get some inspiration, please do watch this video to the end...br>
May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears."
Possibly you were hoping I could help you with your problems. I'm so very sorry that, unfortunately, I'm unable to be there for you personally. Please, click here to read more about why this is.
I am focusing all my energy on making as much information freely available here on my site to help as many people as possible.
I can't tell you how satisfying it feels to be able to reach soooo many people through my articles. In the past, my professional organisation allowed me to counsel a maximum of 20 people a week!
Although I can't help you personally, I certainly can point you in the right direction. You can connect with a professional, licensed therapist (a fee-based service), who will take all the time it needs to really 'get you', and support and guide you.
Here is my sincerest wish for you...
Do remember though that your silence may not necessarily be golden. I therefore hope that you do find someone you can really trust so that you can open your heart and share your troubles.
My father printed the local paper in a small town in the Netherlands. I am the eldest of five children. I am divorced and have one son. I live in a tiny village (uhhh... it has city rights!), love to walk my dog, row (St Ayles skiff), read, and spend time with my family and friends.
I spend much of my time, however, maintaining and improving my website.
Caroline takes care of my editing, since I'm not a native English speaker (I have to admit though - I sneak in bits of text by stealth, so don't blame her if you find some dodgy text!).
In addition she takes care of my email box whenever I'm not available, as well as doing all kinds of other admin tasks.
Caroline over-delivers, is unmissable and always ready with ideas and advice. You'll find her here, but don't 'steal' her.
My father was my inspiration. He was always cheerful, positive, kind and considerate. I feel immense gratitude towards him and my mother for their love and the great start in life they gave me.
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