Discover the best ways to fix these 18 common marital problems

Common marital problems and solutions

It’s natural and to be expected that you’re experiencing problems as a couple! I’m so glad you’re here, though, because here you’ll learn how to fix those common marital problems.

Scroll to find your particular marriage problems and follow the link(s).

You’ll discover my article(s) with expert, down-to-earth and actionable advice and tips to repair your marriage.

Fixing your marital problems

Save your marriage by finding the right solution to your marriage problems

1. Affairs, infidelity, cheating

Hop over to the following articles for actionable advice on how to fix your marital problems when you’re dealing with infidelity: 

• How to survive infidelity 
• Signs your partner or spouse is cheating
• FAQ about emotional infidelity
• How to heal from infidelity and save your marriage.

2. Marital problems due to your physical relationship

Yep, your physical relationship may have dwindled to just about nothing, a sexless marriage at worst.

I’ve got you!

Spoiler alert – there’s no way to boost your sex-drive instantly. Why not? Because any wonder pills are unlikely to help you in the long-run.

• How to increase male libido
• How to boost female libido
• What to do about a sexless marriage
• What to do when you discover your spouse is bisexual.

3. Compatibility issues causing marital problems

Dealing with problems in your marriage on account of differences in core values and beliefs?

• Discover if your marriage is worth saving
• Take my free marriage compatibility test.

4. Entering a different life stage can lead to marital problems

It may become even more apparent that you’ve outgrown each other when you reach a different stage of life.

The menopause is typically a stage when common symptoms of the menopause lead to a change in behaviour, thoughts and feelings.

• 11 ways to survive the menopause
• How to help your wife through the menopause.

5. Traumatic events leading to marital issues

Major traumas can lead to your spouse changing in unexpected and quite dramatic ways.

Your spouse is almost certainly to also change towards you, which may then lead to marital problems.

• Traumatic and/or life-changing events
• Coping with PTSD
• How to help your spouse with PTSD
• Brain injury symptoms and your relationship.

6. Prolonged stress creating relationship issues

Responses to prolonged periods of stress, such as work-related stress, long-term illness, mental health issues, financial problems, troubles with the children, infertility… the list could go on!

7. A boring marriage or boring spouse?

Unless you really work on your relationship, you may end up feeling utterly bored with each other and your marriage in general.

So, I have two articles on boredom – one relates to your marriage, the other to you personally.

• What to do when you’re bored with your spouse
• How to transform your life when you’re bored
• Growing apart (80%)⧉.

8. Dealing with jealousy in marriage

Jealousy is inevitably linked with a sense of insecurity, and fear of being betrayed and losing someone.

Jealousy is inevitably linked with a sense of insecurity, and fear of being betrayed and losing someone. Jealousy can also lead to controlling behaviour.

So, suppose you or your spouse suffers from excessive jealousy. In that case, it’s in both your best interest to read the following articles:

• What to do if you have a jealous spouse
• 5 steps to dealing with jealousy in a marriage.

9. Blended family issues

To fix your marital problems when you have children from a previous marriage or relationship, see:

• My partner’s children don’t want to know me
• Your adult children are rejecting your new partner
• How divorce affects children
• How to help your kids through a breakup.

10. Abusive marriage issues

Domestic violence, which includes verbal as well as physical abuse is THE most serious of all marital problems you might encounter. And, believe it or not, unless you’re being bashed about the head – it isn’t necessarily obvious you’re being abused.

Here’s how you can check what the state of affairs is in your marriage:

• Signs of an abusive relationship
• Signs of emotional abuse, How to ‘win’ the silent treatment
• Free extensive abusive relationship test
• How to live with a narcissistic husband.

See also: My husband doesn’t find me attractive anymore to discover if your spouse is ‘just’ honest or abusive.

Are they open to a discussion about the state of your marriage and how to save it, or are they deliberately humiliating you?

11. You should never have married this person

No wonder you’re having marital problems! Perhaps you’ve always known you married not out of love but did anyway out of duty.

Or, you went ahead with the wedding, due to familial or cultural pressure.

Or, maybe you didn’t want to be left on the shelf.

To see if there’s still a chance to change your fortunes around and save your marriage, take a good look at my comprehensive marriage compatibility test.

12. Unrealistic expectations causing marital problems

Maybe you thought marrying the person you loved was the road to automatic happiness. Chances are you’re disappointed, hurt and angry that things aren’t working out as you’d imagined.

However, creating anything, including a happy marriage, requires hard work. Also, know that there’s no marriage without its problems!

Here’s how to build a marriage which offers you both a chance of happiness, contentment and growth:

• 24 healthy relationship tips for couples
• How to be a better spouse

13. What to do when your spouse is addicted

Addiction is a serious mental health problem. If your spouse suffers from an addiction, it’s no wonder you’re having problems.

So, here are my articles about how to deal with certain addictions:

• How to know if you’re addicted to adult material
• Common stages of alcoholism
• What to do when you’re living with an alcoholic spouse
• How to deal with your spouse’s shopping addiction

14. Mental health issues causing marital problems

Mental health problems are ever-so challenging for those who suffer.

However, supporting a spouse with poor mental health can also be really difficult. So, I’ve got your back!

Here’s how you can help your spouse and yourself:

• How to help your partner with OCD
• How to help your spouse overcome that nervous breakdown
• How to help your depressed spouse get better
• How to support your spouse with anxiety.

15. Marriage problems due to poor communication

Communication is a problem in most marriages. So, please don’t feel bad if you’re struggling to get through to your spouse or feel they’re not being emotionally supportive in the way they respond to you.

If you’re constantly arguing and issues remain unaddressed, chances are you’re headed for divorce.

Here’s what you need:

• My free Loving Communication Tools for Couples
• 42 reasons why couples argue all the time
• How to argue fairly
• How to deal with the silent treatment
• How to improve communication in marriage

16. Problems in your marriage due to a lack of concern, care and consideration

You could blame your spouse for all that, of course. And, maybe they are indeed a tat selfish.

However, all your complaining won’t result in lasting change, I can guarantee you!

So, what else can you do?

The only way your spouse will notice you again is if you change the way you deal with the problem.

You’ll find my take on it in the following articles:

• How to ‘make’ your partner fall in love with you again – a 3-part article
• How to make your wife fall in love with you again.

17. Lack of support during and after pregnancy causing marital problems

When you’re pregnant, you feel, and are, extra vulnerable. You now carry the responsibility for two people while your body is using a ton of energy to care for that new life.

You’d want nothing more than to share at least some of that responsibility with your husband. Their practical and emotional support would help a great deal to lower any stress levels and ensure plenty of time to rest.

And, to be sure, a recent study found that increased stress in the pregnant mother has a detrimental effect on the baby.

Here’s what you can do:

• How to deal with an unsupportive partner during pregnancy
• How to deal with marriage problems after the birth of your baby
• How to be an amazingly supportive husband during pregnancy
• How to deal with the aftermath of a traumatic birth.

18. You’re no longer sure you want to save your marriage

Maybe your marriage seems to have been failing for some time. Perhaps you’re tired of trying to make it work and you think you’ve fallen out of love.

In that case, you might find the following articles helpful:

• You’re not sure you love your spouse anymore
• You have an attention-seeking spouse or partner
• Your spouse has changed for the worst.

How to fix your marital problems

Meeting essential emotional needs in balance

As human beings, we are born with a brain primed with everything we need to live our lives. That includes all the resources necessary to meet our essential emotional needs in balance.

Examples of those needs are:

• a sense of security
• fun, friendship and laughter
• being part of a wider community
• a sense of control and autonomy
• love and physical intimacy

And another big one: giving and receiving attention.

Let’s take the very last innate emotional need. Can you see how important those needs are and how meeting those needs can go awry?

What if you have a spouse who is very needy, but has little time for you? Or, what if one of you spends most of your quality time at work and with friends?

How would it feel if your spouse controls the finances, for example, and leave you out of the loop of where the money goes?

That might well be fine if you were controlling where you’d go on holidays perhaps. Both of you would meet your needs for control and autonomy. But, if you had little or no control over any decisions in your marriage, you’re likely to feel unhappy.

Almost all marital problems result, therefore, from your and/or your spouse’s essential emotional needs not being met in balance.

Naturally, not all your needs can be met by each other. That’s why it’s so important to be part of a wider community.

To learn more about your inborn needs and resources, hop over to my article about what we call the human givens. Then take another look at your marital problems to see where you can make changes to save your marriage.

And, be sure to use this worksheet to help you understand your own emotional needs and resources…

What if you can’t find a solution to your marital problems?

Well, as a couples therapist (retired) of course I’d advise you to get help. ;-)

I recommend you don’t wait too long before getting expert advice! To discover how it can work for you, hop over to my article Getting the best online professional relationship advice and support.

You’re likely to find it such a relief to be able to talk things through with a professional. It really helps to get advice from an expert who isn’t involved but does care.

Is divorce the only option?

If, sadly, all else fails, hop over to my article How to tell your spouse you want a divorce.

Finally

Recognising that your marriage is on the rocks can be oh so painful. And maybe your spouse doesn’t see what the problem is at all!

You now have access to a ton of freely available – expert – information to help you deal with any problems in your marriage.

Don’t give up hope, stop blaming your spouse and work hard at making changes. Know that you’re far stronger than you think you are. You’ve got this – you can deal with any one of these marital problems!