16 signs your spouse wants to leave you as they don’t love you anymore

A relationship breakdown – signs your marriage is falling apart

When you’re searching for signs your spouse wants to leave you, your situation is critical – your marriage is falling apart. Your spouse may already be planning to leave you.

How worried you must be. Or perhaps not! Depending on what’s been going on between the two of you, you may be relieved.

I’ll assume that you’re still hoping to save your marriage now that it’s on the brink of divorce. If I’m right, it does mean you’ll have to take immediate action!

I’ll be pointing you in the right direction so that you have some hope because I can imagine your head is all over the place with worry.

As human beings, it’s hard for us to think straight and know what to do for the best when we’re anxious and emotional.

So, let’s first see how bad the situation is…

Do also read my article How to know your relationship is over.

Signs your husband or wife is planning to leave you

The following are potential signs that your partner or spouse’s departure is imminent and that they don’t love you anymore.

1. Your spouse appears uninterested in your whereabouts

Your spouse no longer cares that you prefer to spend your time elsewhere because they have other things on their mind.

Your comings and goings are of no interest to them when they’re planning to leave you.

2. They seem pleased when you’re going out

They may have to arrange things, pack up, talk to friends and family about the situation, arrange for alternate accommodation, etc.

Or, very sadly, they’re feeling relieved to not be in the same space as you. That’s a very clear sign your partner, husband or wife doesn’t love you anymore!

3. You’re noticing that some of their personal items are disappearing

This is a definite sign that they’re ready to move out. You could search your home for packed bags or boxes, but I’d much rather have you talk to your spouse about your worries.

It’s time the two of you discuss your worries and for them to come clean if they want to leave you.

Read my article on how to stop arguing first for the best tips and advice on how to have a decent conversation.

4. They’re nothing short of rude to you

Being in the same room appears to be too much. Sadly, they may have even told you they can’t stand you. You think they hate you and acutely feel rejected.

At best, your attempts to connect get a grumpy and short answer, or you’ll be lied to (see my article What to do when your spouse is lying all the time). You might even get the silent treatment.

5. You’ve been told they want a break

Yes, they might indeed want a break. However, it could be an interlude to wanting separation and divorce – they just don’t know. how to tell you they want a divorce.

This could be a sure sign that your partner, husband or wife doesn’t love you anymore and your marriage is falling apart.

If you already had doubts about your marriage also, you may want to take back some control and tell your spouse you want a divorce.

6. They push you away when you want to hold hands or seek any physical contact

It may have been happening for some time, but now you can no longer ignore it – your spouse seems no longer be attracted to you – plain and simple.

This is also a very telling symptom that your marriage is in danger of falling apart.

It’s time for you both to sit down and work out what you’re going to do – stay together or break up.

7. They’re made financial arrangements to enable them to leave

Your partner may have been making financial arrangements to ensure they have the financial means to leave you. Your spouse may be lying to you about money.

Indirect signs your partner or spouse wants to break up

Well, that may not be entirely right – the following are certainly also signs that your marriage is in trouble and possibly wanting to leave you:

8. Your spouse is already having an affair

If ever there was a way to cause someone to feel rejected – it’ll be by betraying their trust and, in particular by cheating on them.

If your spouse is really having an affair, your marriage is in deep trouble, not least because they’re lying to you all the time. Read my article on the tell-tale signs of cheating to learn more.

Know that infidelity need not necessarily lead to a marriage breakup.

If your spouse is really having an affair, your marriage is, however, in deep trouble. Your spouse will be lying to you all the time.

That is – assuming that you didn’t sanction your spouse having someone on the side! You’ll now have to fight for the survival of your marriage. That is if you want to stay together after an affair.

9. Your spouse is no longer interested in making love

Whenever you reach out to them, they push you away or quote tiredness.

While they may well be tired, you’ll know from the way you’re being rejected that it’s more about not wanting to be intimate with you. No wonder you’re feeling hurt!

No longer making love is definitely not a sign by itself that your wife or husband wants to leave you. They could be suffering from low libido, or impotence, for example.

See also Discover how to fix a lack of intimacy.

10. They’re spending more time with friends

This may have been a slow process – that they’ve increasingly sought entertainment and comfort elsewhere.

Or, their friends are supporting them through the impending marital breakup.

11. Your spouse is spending more time at work

You’re likely to have come up with good reasons for that initially. Possibly, they have no choice in the matter.

However, they could have asked for extra shifts. They may have offered to work at weekends, Christmas, Thanksgiving, or any other family holiday. And, they might have let it be known to be available for unexpectedly being called in during holidays.

12. Your spouse or partner isn’t spending any time in your company at social gatherings

Mostly they’ll avoid going to social events with you. When they have to go to keep up appearances, you’ll undoubtedly be aware they’re going under duress.

They’ll spend as little time with you as possible while you’re left defending the reasons why to others.

13. They come up with excuses when you’re looking for ways to spend quality time together

This happens when you’ve been aware your partner or spouse wants to end the marriage, and you’re doing your damnedest to fix the relationship.

Your attempts are deliberately being thwarted by excuses or straight refusals.

14. They have more contact with a particular friend(s)

If they’ve been unhappy, they’re likely to have reached out to friends and family for support.

If your spouse is set to leave you, there may be even more contact now in preparation of a breakup.

15. They are increasingly cold and distant

Any one or combination of the above signs your spouse wants to leave will feel to you cold and distant.

However, all the above comes with a warning!

A seemingly distant and cold spouse could be suffering from mental health problems.

So, I’d like you to consider the following…

You could be wrong about your spouse wanting to leave

It could also be that your spouse is simply not themselves. That their behaviour isn’t about not loving you anymore, but they’re unwell.

4 other possible reasons for your partner’s behaviour

1. Has your spouse been under severe strain at work, and could they be suffering from work-related stress?
   Don’t know the answer?
   Is that because you’re done caring, you haven’t enquired or you’ve been kept in the dark despite trying to find out what’s happening?
2. Could they be on the verge of a nervous breakdown?
3. Could your wife or husband be suffering from depression?
   See my article on the signs and symptoms of depression and male depression symptoms.
4. Is it possible that they have an addiction?
   That could easily count for many of your spouse’s signs of wanting to leave.

If you think your spouse is having mental health problems, then hop over to my article on how to be a supportive husband, wife or partner.

Stages of a marital breakup

The potential marital breakdown has likely been developing over some time. That is, unless your spouse has suddenly fallen head-over-heels in love with someone else.

Typically, a relationship loses its initial sparkle after a couple of years. Those heady early feelings morphe into a deeper, mutually satisfying love.

When that hasn’t happened, the two of you may well have cycled through ups and downs and eventually spiralled through the stages of a breakup.

You’ve grown apart, perhaps been looking outside the marriage for love. You’re constantly fighting and bickering and even wonder if you’ve married the right person.

Whatever’s happened and going on right now, if you want to save your marriage it’s time to get cracking.

So, here’s what to do…

Let’s next look at how you’ll know your efforts are paying off, and your spouse wants to save the marriage.

7 signs your spouse wants to save the marriage

Here are the signs your partner, wife or husband wants to save the marriage:

1. They make repeated attempts to talk to you, even if it doesn’t go well
2. They fall over backwards to please you
3. They’re more attentive than they’ve been in the past
4. Your physical relationship has suddenly improved
5. If they’ve been having an affair, they will (perhaps reluctantly) share details of how they’ve ended it
6. They may agree to couples therapy
7. They make more time for you.

Finally

I know things are difficult for you now that your marriage appears on the brink of a breakup. But…

… you may still be able to save your marriage! You can do it if you really apply yourself.

Give it your all. If your marriage ends despite your efforts, you’ll feel that you’ve given it your best shot. Go for it!

I know things are tough on you right now. I also know that you’re far stronger than you think you are – you can do this. You’ll navigate through all this and come out the other end! I’m rooting for you!