Stay or go? Save or separate? Marry or move out?

Are you (still) truly compatible or are you wasting your time?

Doubts about your relationship? Looking for something or someone that could help you unscramble the muddle and doubts in your head, help you to sleep soundly again and stop you feeling that you're living a lie?

How do you know when your relationship is over, what the signs are that it's ending, or when it is time to break up?

Of course you want to be happy, you want to be able to love and be loved freely, without any qualms. That feeling that all is not well can be really scary and unsettling.

Here's my take on it...

You are as individual and as amazing as any star in the sky - there is no one in the world like you. You deserve to have a truly rewarding and happy relationship with someone just right for you.

The question is... are you with that person right now?

Are you really being true to yourself in this relationship?

Can you be happy in it (again), or is it time to end it? Or are you dating and you're questioning whether you're compatible?

I understand that this can be an all-consuming dilemma. As a couples therapist I know only too well how much is at stake when you have invested so much hope and energy into your relationship or marriage.

It’s natural that when things aren't going as smoothly as you’d like, you're not as happy as you once was or hoped you would be, you can end up feeling unsure about the future.

But how on earth do you decide wether or not is is time to end your relationship?

I believe I can help you with this.

Together let's just start with what is happening for you right now...

Do you recognise yourself in any of the following?

Discontent is the first necessity of progress."


Albert Einstein
  • You keep telling your partner what bothers you, but it makes no (lasting) difference OR...
  • You suffer in silence, but have difficulty being 'nice'
  • You keep struggling on and pretending all is well
  • You keep promising yourself you'll do something about it and feel bad when you don't
  • You don't really commit, but are 'kind of' playing the game
  • You give yourself all kinds of reasons as to why you’re not doing anything about it (like ending it, or going for counselling)
  • You ask friends, family or colleagues for advice
  • You’re stuck in a rut and just keep mulling over the same old problems
  • You’re waiting for your partner to change
  • You’re spending more and more time imagining what life would be like if you were to end your relationship or marriage
  • You’re tempted to have or are already having an affair
  • You’re staying out later, coming home from work later and inventing all kinds of excuses for the reasons why
  • You’re generally trying to avoid your partner or spouse
  • You’re hoping your partner will finish it because you don't know what to do, or you don't want to be the one to finish it
  • You're falling out of love
  • You're still in love, but constantly feel rejected

You probably already know that none of these strategies are helping you to get you what you want, or letting you resolve the problems in any way!

Whether you’re feeling hurt, bored, trapped, suffocated or unsure for any other reason, the right help and advice can be hard to come by and is all too often biased.  Yet your happiness, that of your partner and any children you may have all depend on the right guidance.

You deserve to be happy, and I want to help you to achieve this.

Why I care

I passionately believe that with a little bit more 'know how', understanding and empathy anyone can create a better relationship.  All of the information here on my website stems from that belief. 

I understand that as human beings we all NEED to feel connected and cherished. My training and experience means I can be here to help you to successfully achieve this.

I am a qualified, BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy) accredited and experienced couple counsellor.  I have helped well over 2000 individuals and couples. I gained my qualification with the largest and most respected expert UK couple counselling organisation, RELATE.

Yet I too found myself in your position many years ago. So, I know what it feels like. Sleepless nights, sadness, frustration, disappointments, hurt and indecision, because there was so much at stake.

Now you are perhaps in that place, or even if you're not so terribly unhappy, you've perhaps lost your passion.

Of course, you could try and 'make it work' - for a while at least - if you haven't already or...

Would a relationship or marriage compatibility test help you make a decision?

For sure a good relationship quiz would help you understand the bigger picture. It would help you see the things you may be blind to.

A relationship test, to both asses your compatibility and chances of making it (again) together should...

  • focus your attention on not only your emotional needs, but also those of your partner or spouse
  • show you what is good, what is questionable and what are absolute deal-breakers in your relationship
  • help you find new ways to be really clear about what you actually want from your relationship
  • focus on issues that truly matter, not what your favourite song is and which personality you want to invite to dinner

So, you just need to be sure that you are getting the right test - not one devised by someone with no knowledge of, or experience in, couples therapy (like so many online tests out there!) And not one with just ten questions either!

Could I help you with my relationship test?

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it's a thing to be achieved."


William Jennings Bryan, 41st United States Secretary of State

I know that there are masses of people who are unsure if their relationship or marriage will ever work out. Many wonder if they'll ever be happy again. Yet all too many are not willing, ready or able to go for counselling (and even that doesn't always provide solution!).

Perhaps you too have tried to address the problems in your relationship or marriage. Maybe you've ended up feeling unhappy and trapped and for your own reasons are not able to go to counselling. Yet I'm sure you are still searching for answers.

I can help by providing you with a 'road map' - a marriage compatibility test I personally developed using my training and experience (personal and professional). I can help you decide if indeed it’s time to end your relationship or whether there is still hope of transforming it.

See your relationship in a new way

The right test can give you a starting point to help you think clearly.

The right test will help you to cut through the 'clutter' in your brain (if there is any clutter of course).

Therefore I searched through several years’ worth of counselling notes to create and refine a comprehensive, simple but powerful relationship test or 'quiz'.

This comprehensive quiz will help you to….

  • shine a light on your blind-spots (which we all have!) to uncover vital information you may not have considered before
  • encourage you to take off those rose-tinted glasses if you find that you are a bit of a dreamer
  • demonstrate that the glass doesn’t always have to be half-empty - particularly useful if you've been focussing on all the negative stuff lately
  • stop you hoping things will change, when clearly they won't
  • help you to discover if you are actually in an abusive relationship
  • give you a general wake-up call
  • help you define what you stand for and what you really need and want from an intimate couple relationship
  • open the door for you to decide the best way forward fast – to stay, or to walk away (remember that if you decide it’s time to break up this does NOT mean that you’ve ‘failed’)

You'll discover - step-by-step - what is really going on in your relationship or marriage (often it's not what you think is going wrong is!)

You'll find out whether or not the two of you really do have a chance of making it together, and why - or why not.

"It may show to some that actually, their problems aren't so bad, in the greater context."

Miriam Chachamu, Family Therapist, Trainer, speaker
Author of "How to Calm a Challenging Child", London

What will you lose?

I know that breaking up a committed relationship or marriage is oh so difficult and painful, whether or not you are the instigator.

It is even harder if you have children. You only have to imagine having to tell them what’s going to happen to know that it will cut right through your heart and their hearts.

Splitting up is also expensive as you may need to cover the cost of childcare, a house move resulting in two homes and cars, legal bills, maintenance payments and so on, possibly with reduced working hours. And remember the above mentioned therapist's fees.

Sadly all too often the break up is irreversible should you change your mind after all (and yes, that does happen!).  In addition an (potentially unnecessary) breakup can have a massive impact on your finances.

At least by taking this test you can feel totally secure that you have come to a decision with the best knowledge, awareness and understanding you have at this time.

Is this relationship test right for you?

Could you answer any of the following questions with a "YES"?

  • Are there warning signs that your partner isn't happy?
  • Is your partner pushing for more commitment than you are ready for?
  • Are you worried you’re not compatible - sexually, emotionally, socially, spiritually?
  • Are you beginning to find out that you have very different values and beliefs?
  • Have you already started to withdraw from your partner?
  • Are you living like 'brother and sister' or friends, without passion?
  • Does your head tell you to end it while your heart says that you want it to work - or vice versa?
  • Do you often feel hurt, let down, frustrated, angry or simply bored?
  • Are you nevertheless wishing and hoping it could work out?
  • Are you reluctant to end it because you still care for him or her?
  • Do you feel guilty for considering a separation because your partner is basically a 'good' person?
  • Do you feel torn between two people, as you're having an affair?
  • Do you think you have married the wrong person?
  • You are married or in a committed relationship, but you don't want to live the rest of your life like 'this'?

If you answered yes to any of those questions then I believe for sure that you could do with finding out what is standing in the way of your happiness, and I hope you will let me help you with that by way of my marriage compatibility test.

How does it work?

Ecover Relationship compatibility test

You will get:

  • Information on how to avoid your biases
  • How to stop any mind-chatter that leads to to poor decision-making
  • How to generate alternative outcomes
  • How to get the most out of the test You will get a comprehensive set of simple but powerful quizzes - 131 questions - in all, requiring only YES or NO answers, taking you through every aspect of your relationship.
    There’s no 'beating around the bush', no jargon, no 'personality' tests nor anything to do with statistics.
  • My advice based on your scores
  • 5 Additional quizzes (48 questions) to help you uncover what you are doing that is unhelpful and what your personal obstacles are to making the decision.
    This section alone is worth taking this test for!

Time to break up? Decide in 90 minutes.

Take this test today and you will know if it is time to break up, separate and divorce, OR...  

... if there is hope for your relationship or marriage and where you need to direct your attention to transform it.

Experience...  

  • relief and stress reduction
  • clarity or mind

Gain...

  • spruced up relationship knowledge about you, your partner and your relationship
  • improved self-knowledge/awareness - see yourself as others see you
  • confirmation of personal insights - you "just knew it" thoughts, but also...
  • new insights from shock, surprises and light-bulb moments
  • tips, advice and strategies on your next move a fresh perspective after those lightbulb moments
  • a sense of direction - no puzzling fork in the road, but a junction with signs
  • a sense or purpose - no more wasting your time with mind-chatter and indecision

All of this is invaluable in helping you get through to your partner!

Who is this relationship tool not suitable for?

I'd hate to think you would waste your time, so here is what I would want you to know up front...

  • This test is not for you if you're not open to new insights! However, you could of course have your suspicions and insights confirmed.
  • It is probably also not for you if you are in the counselling professions and experienced in working with couples (unless you want to use this test with your clients, are just curious or suspect that you could still learn something new).
  • If you want a 'validated' test, this is not for you either. In any case - you should not want any 'tool' based on statistics to decide on your personal destiny - there are too many variables. How many people are there exactly like you and with your personal circumstances?

FAQ

Any questions? CLICK HERE.

100% Money Back Guarantee

I expect this test to be life-changing for you.

I totally stand behind it's value and integrity. However, I accept it is not suitable for everyone.

If you are not satisfied for any reason - no problem!

I'll be more than happy to issue refund. Just contact me here.

Where are you going to be a year from now?

A year from now you may wish you had started today."


Karen Lamb, Author

"This is exactly what I was after, a simple to understand key to unlocking the mess that was my mind and putting it to more productive use!"

Katie Bourne


"A magnificent piece of work."

William Andrews, Senior Associate
International Center for Clinical Excellence

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... I only want you to open and work on it when you have the 90 minutes to give it your undivided attention!


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"A must for anyone unhappy in their relationship."
Janine Lawrence

"I'm very glad I did it, it helped me decide on the next steps."
Alison H

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