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Dealing with criticism

Feeling hurt and angry by criticism and rejection?

Dealing with criticism Learn how you can be dealing with criticism more effectively with my help. Many of my pages here relate to dealing with criticism. Criticism and rejection, though part of life, is often upsetting. However, endless rumination (negative thinking) won't help, undermines your self-esteem and wastes your precious energy.

Criticism can be a form of bullying on the one hand. On the other hand, if it is delivered by someone who genuinely has your best interest at heart, it can be a gift, particularly if that person has expertise in the appropriate field.

I am going to help you deal with any criticism of you, your behaviour or your work - major or minor, at home or in the work place.

Being defensive is not a helpful response

You will miss the point if you immediately react defensively.
Don’t automatically take the criticism personally
Don’t react aggressively to the criticism
Don’t immediately try to prove the other person wrong
Don’t concentrate on finding fault in the other person

Anger and upset can limit your thinking

The more emotional we are, the more limited our thinking and questionable our reactions!

If you are upset and/or angry after having received a dressing down - distract and calm yourself for a while. Engage in a hobby or interest, go for a walk/run/cycle ride, talk to a friend, listen to calming music. Do anything to calm yourself right down. Only then consider all your options.

Accepting appropriate and realistic criticism

Determine if the person has all the information
Ensure the information is accurate and unbiased (as far as possible)
Calmly ask for a further explanation
Consider how the information was gathered
Consider if there is a misunderstanding
Consider whether it was delivered to deliberately hurt you/abusive
Ask for a break to do some thinking (and to calm down!)

Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man's growth without destroying his roots."

Frank A. Clark

There is so much more to you!

you are not your thoughts
you are not your work
you are not your art
you are not your feelings
you are not your behaviour

There is much more to you than any of these aspects.

What about that critical person?

None of the following points are offered as excuses, but they may explain and help put things in context, when you have been criticised. Is your critic:

irrational due to physical or emotional strain?
unskilled in communicating?
acting on behalf of someone else?

Dealing with criticism if/when it is fair

Accept the criticism, we all make mistakes
Accept the criticism calmly
Agree briefly, depending on what happened
Avoid endless explanations and excuses
Make amends, learn from your mistakes, let it go and move on

Dealing with unfair criticism

Questionable criticism can feel even more unfair.
Ask yourself:

Whose problem is it really?
Are you rating their opinion of you higher than your own?
Are you setting yourself up to be criticised?
Is it really a power struggle?
Is it about one-upmanship, competition, retaliation, control?

Even constructive criticism can feel really uncomfortable. However, gentle feedback, which includes drawing out all of your strengths, allows you to learn something about yourself.

If you are really struggling, let me help you. A telephone consultation can really help you move on and focus on the future.

Destructive criticism

If you have been criticised and you have had to put up with: judging, put downs, attacks, trivializing, blaming, sarcasm and sneering - it is time to consider your options.

Unrelenting criticism and name calling is emotional abuse and bullying and totally unacceptable. It is about power and control. No one deserves that kind of an onslaught. If you are stuck in that kind of a relationship, whether at home or at work, then please do seek help.

Anticipate having to deal with criticism

You may just need to accept that you are going to be criticised. If you manage a team, are a entrepeneur, own your own company, are a politician, are successful in whatever you do, there will be people who are critical of you.

In fact, whatever your position - you are going to be on the receiving end of criticism at some time. Bolster yourself - you have control over you, you do not have it over anyone else.

Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing."

Aristotle

How to increase your self-belief

Learn how to handle your critic. Boost your self-esteem. Then, when you are next criticised you will be able to deal with your critic calmy and confidently.

I have teamed up with a super company. I know their work and I trust their business ethics: HypnosisDownloads. Their downloads will help you to deal with your problem in Handle your ciritic the safety and comfort of your choosen environment at a time that suits you.