How to deal with rejection

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Knowing how to deal with rejection and what to do about it will help you to cope and recover more quickly. Rejection happens to us in so many ways and I'm here to help you handle it in love relationships.

If any of this happened to you (uuuuhm... I can almost guarantee you've had a deal with at least a couple of those - as I have too) I imagine you're feeling hurt, disappointed, perhaps angry and maybe even a failure. These are all normal feelings under the circumstances!

Whatever it is that brought you here, you'll find new ways of looking at the situation and specific strategies to help you feel better. Stick with me, I'm going to help you cope with that rejection.

You may want to come back to this page for any of the following reasons for being so painfully shunned:

... and so on.

Constantly feeling rejected or dismissed out of the blue?

That rejection could have come completely out of the blue or you were prepared for it.

Perhaps you have known for some time that your relationship hasn't been right. Deep down you may have been expecting a major fall-out.

Perhaps you’ve been puzzled by the way your partner has changed.  Maybe you thought that he or she was just having a bit of a rough time, or perhaps you suspected an affair.

If you've been getting the cold shoulder all of a sudden or for a while, I can understand if you're desperate to talk it through with someone you can trust. There's nothing more reassuring than some trustworthy advice on how to deal with the situation.

I've got your back. You can speak with an online relationship expert right now - from my site.

The utter pain of rejection

I cannot explain it any better than Prof Helen Fisher in this TED talk:

Suffered a sudden rejection?

Your feelings are part of your very personal response to either bad news or feeling let down by someone important to you.

To explain that - someone else in your position might have brushed it off, felt even worse or couldn't have cared less.

Your reaction will to some degree depend on your specific circumstances of course, including your relationship history.  The way in which you found out that you are no longer wanted or loved will also have a bearing.

However, the following ‘normal’ reactions - all on a scale - are what I would generally expect to see in anyone who has just been given really bad news:

  • during the first few minutes you may have felt unable to speak
  • you may have felt shaky
  • your breathing might have changed and perhaps you felt dizzy or faint
  • you might have felt rooted to the ground
  • equally you might have wanted to run away
  • you may have been conscious of how much faster and harder your heart was beating
  • you may still feel sick now
  • you might find it hard to eat anything
  • you're likely to find that your abilities to sleep, concentrate, remember and think are all affected
  • you may feel anxious about all sorts of things

Most of these symptoms are likely to slowly disappear in the following days, possibly replaced by a sense of gloom, sadness and lack of interest in anything (have a look at the remedy MelancholyLift, I think it'll be a real help).  

After a couple of weeks you should begin to see some light again.  Very slowly the periods that you feel a little better will become more frequent and last longer.

After 4 - 6 weeks you’ll be getting on with things again, and feeling you are beginning to recover.  'Good' days may still be intermingled with really lousy days, but you are on the right track towards dealing with your rejection.

On the whole men recover more quickly than women. Men’s memory doesn’t naturally hold onto emotionally laden material.  However, I have seen this reversed many a time in my counselling practice.

Hop Over to Part 2 to find out how rejection causes insecurity, and how you can help to Rebuild your Self-Esteem Again...

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3