Getting the best relationship advice - the 'who, what and when' 

Part 1, Part 2

Letters: HOPE

You may just want the best relationship advice when you have some relationship questions. Or you're going to need the best professional advice to try and save your relationship or marriage if you are in real trouble.

In this article I'll cover what kind of relationship advice you should avoid at all costs.

I'll also give you some ideas about who you might want to turn to, and what to consider when you want to consult a professional for expert advice on relationships.

Just in case this isn't entirely what you're looking for - see also: 25 Common Relationship Problems to find out what you can do about them.

Can you get the best relationship advice from family or friends?

First of all I'd really like you to try and tune into your own intuition.

You'll know deep down when you're ill-advised. You'll be questioning yourself and may sense that something's wrong... even if you can't immediately put your finger on it.  

You might really want to go with the advice you've been given because it's what you want to hear. Yet you won't be able to help feeling a little 'niggle' that something about it isn't quite right.

Secondly, you'll need to consider if the advice you've been given is biased or unbiased advice on relationships. I'll explain more about this, but before I do - a word or two about who you should definitely not ask for advice ...

Do yourself a favour; don't take any advice from someone (family or friends) if:

  • they like to gossip - no explanation necessary!
  • their own relationships lunge from one disaster to another - also self-explanatory
  • they treat others - anyone - with contempt
  • they speak in a derogatory manner about others
  • they like the sound of their own voice
  • they can't help but turn any conversation to their own troubles
  • they're too keen to voice their personal opinion

Value yourself! You deserve the best advice, particularly when you're down at heals.

Be aware of biased advice on relationships

It's real a gift if you have friends and family members who are really supportive and keen to help.

However, the decisions you make and what happens to you will affect them too. Most of these wonderful people, therefore, are likely to offer you guidance and counsel that is biased (although they might not be conscious of this). That means that their suggestions, relationship tips or warnings are likely to be somewhat 'coloured' by self-interest. In other words: they are unlikely to give the very best relationship advice however well-meaning, wonderful and kind they are.

So, when you seek help and advice, by all means speak to friends and family - in fact I think it's a very good idea to share your troubles. However, just be aware that their direction and advice to you may not be completely impartial.

People who are not directly involved with you are more likely able to offer unbiased relationship advice. It has no bearing on them what you decide to do and they won't be affected - regardless of the outcome of your decisions.

So, where do you go for that kind of counsel?

Who can help you?

Join me in Part 2 for my list of the top 10 things to look for in the person that will be able to offer you the best relationship advice. Also on the next page is a list of Expert Relationship Advice resources which I hope you'll find helpful.

Part 1, Part 2

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Elly Prior

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