I put this list of emotions and feelings together some years ago for use in my counselling sessions.
I was aware that men in particular (though of course not exclusively) were often struggling to articulate their feelings. I thought it would help to give them a list of human emotions and feelings. It did not last long!
Women - on a continuum - are generally more able to identify and talk about their feelings than men. (Women also have a better memory for emotionally laden material.) On the whole, in my counselling experience I have noticed that men find it harder to express their feelings.
Of course, I learned over time that not infrequently roles are switched. My list of feelings could be as useful for working with women as it is for counselling men of course.
Prof. Simon Baron Cohen, in his book The Essential Difference, talks about 'empathising' brains and 'systemising' brains, with men more likely to have systemising brains and women empathising brains. The 'emphasisers' are more 'in touch' with their feelings.
You may also be interested in: Interpreting body
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(BTW: If you are here as a student and you would rather be
doing something more exciting, have a look at Text The Romance Back!)
I found this list of human emotions useful at a time I adhered to what was suggested during counselling training: people should express their feelings to help them to get better. Clients were in danger of being considered to be somehow 'deficient' - for want of a better word - if they were unable to identify their feelings.
As a counsellor you were expected to listen out for, identify and 'sit with' feelings - that was all people would need to be on the way to recovery, it was suggested. I still think this is helpful - for some people in some situations, some of the time.
However - I have found through experience that very often more is needed to help people move on from where they are stuck. They may have done the feelings bit too much already! I focus much less on feelings now that I am using the human givens approach to therapy. I don't use this list of human emotions anymore.
| UNEASY |
ANGRY |
FRIGHTENED |
| nervous tense anxious flustered insecure angry cross confused bored flat apathetic weak shockepressured uncomfortable lonely discontented foolish stupid awkward silly embarrassed low envious uneasy silly self-conscious |
See:
Anger Management Tips frustrated cross irritated annoyed furious livid enraged hurt inadequate trapped tired scared embarrassed used jealous overburdened pissed-off miffed disgusted aggrieved disdain scornful enraged |
See also: Top 10 phobias Adrenal fatigue symptoms uneasy weak insecure inadequate tense anxious nervous scared petrified threatened trapped horrified used despairing miserable lonely shocked traumatised terrified ashamed overwhelmed persecuted |
| HAPPY |
NEGATIVE |
POSITIVE |
| See
also: The
secrets to happy relationship pleased glad wonderful elated excited content surprised proud relieved satisfied confident hopeful peaceful comfortable calm relaxed warm overjoyed over the moon love loved grateful romantic |
distrustful suspicious scornful disdain bitter stupid worthless jealous paranoid resentful contempt empty put upon |
determined forgiving hopeful motivated inspired daring energetic loving eager excited receptive happy caring confident hopeful strong vitality pride joy grateful serene in awe amused amazed thankful content peaceful self-assured proud trusting |
| UNHAPPY |
'UPSET' see also
unhappy |
CONFUSED |
| hurt upset lonely guilty (feeling guilty can different from being guilty!) miserable bereft despairing devastated lost down depressed low grief sad humiliated ashamed rejected self-conscious used embarrassed down-hearted suicidal empty offended wary melancholic shattered |
angry frustrated sad tearful hurt miserable weepy irritated shame regretful © Elly Prior |
hurt upset lonely inadequate cross miserable shocked mixed-up nervous scared discontented foolish stupid jealous amazed baffled surprised wary vulnerable |
Fine-tune your relationship and lift your spirits!
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You may also be interested in: |
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| Types of
non-verbal communication Body language signs Relationship communication Couples counselling FAQ about counselling |
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