How to interpret your dreams effectively

Why and how do we dream, and why about a mental breakdown

Dreams about having an emotional or mental breakdown, being in a mental hospital or institution, going crazy or being psychotic are oh so common! So, I’m glad you’ve landed here to discover the meaning of your dream.

And, when the previous night’s escapade was particularly vivid – like a nightmare or a recurring dream – your curiosity is likely to be even more aroused.

You may have fought fires, desperately tried to stop drowning, or been amidst a complete nervous breakdown. You may have been chased, had physical relations or dreamt about cheating. And who hasn’t had a dream about spiders crawling way too close for comfort!

The reason for your barmy dreams may surprise you!

Regardless of last night’s dream, you’ll be pleased to know you’re unlikely to be at immediate risk of some calamity.

Since dreaming happens mainly during a stage of sleep called the REM state, let me explain a little about that first.

(Of course, if you’re not interested in the technical bits – just scroll on!)

Dreaming in the REM state… what’s that?

REM stands for Rapid Eye Movement.

You’ll see evidence of the REM state when someone is twitching, and their eyes are moving underneath their eyelids.

They’re also dreaming.

You may also be able to see during the day when someone’s in a REM state, for example, when they’re very emotional or when recalling a memory.

During the REM state your attention is locked.

REM states start within weeks after conception and increase until halfway through pregnancy. A foetus spends about 80% in REM sleep. After birth, newborns spend a third of their day in REM. 

During that time, instinctive templates are ‘downloaded’ from our genes into the brain, and we are programmed to behave like a human beings.

The templates help prepare us for what we may encounter in real life, flexible enough to help us cope with a multitude of scenarios.

For example, a baby’s need to survive means it will suckle on anything like a nipple if a real one is unavailable. The basic, innate template is the need to feed but allows an easy adaptation to the alternative solution if the ‘correct’ solution is missing.

What is a normal sleep cycle?

There are 3 main stages of sleep. In a nutshell, they are:

Stage 1 – You fall into sleep. 

Stage 2 – Your breathing and heart rate slow, and your body temperature drops. You’re now sleeping lightly.

Stage 3 (and 4) – You’re now fast asleep.

The cycle takes about 1.5 to 2 hours, and REM sleep typically happens at the end of each cycle.

With every repeat of the cycle, the length of REM sleep increases. Usually, the longest period of dreaming occurs in the morning, just before we wake up.

During stages 3 (and 4), your muscles relax, and the major muscle groups are paralysed. That stops most people from running out of the door or accidentally kicking their partner while dreaming.

Why do we dream?

My trainer, psychologist Joe Griffin is one of the two founders of the Human Givens school of psychology. As a dream researcher, he discovered that all elements of all dreams are metaphorical and symbolical, even their structure.

Your dreams have a definite purpose. They have a deliberate storyline with carefully chosen characters who play-act situations in real life. And oh my, does it come up with some peaches of dreams!

Your brain purposefully scripts everything that happens in those seemly barmy dreams. All the events and characters are based on your experiences during the previous day.

Joe discovered and proved time and again that what we dream is a metaphorical representation of our experiences – in particular, our unexpressed thoughts and emotions of the previous day. But there’s more to it.

Your dream doesn’t represent what happened and what you felt the day before – it has a twist.

It tells the story of what you made of it.

It’s all about the feelings, thoughts, hopes and expectations you didn’t express at the time. If something had bothered you but dealt with it straight away, it wouldn’t enter your dreams that night.

“I find out a lot about myself by sleeping. Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me.”

Jarod Kintz

What has your nervous system got to do with dreaming?

Any feelings or thoughts you don’t act on and sort out immediately create a sort of ‘waiting game’ – an unfulfilled expectation.

That causes tension in your Automatic Nervous System – the part that ensures your heart continues beating and your digestive system does what it needs to, etc.

The beauty of our dreams

While you’re dreaming, your brain processes those unfulfilled expectations from the previous day. In your dreams, you act out metaphorically what you hadn’t been able to do that previous day. 

It’s a superbly designed process because, let’s face it, you really aren’t always in a position to act on your feelings and wishes.

If, for example, you feel like ‘throttling’ someone, it’s best not to give in to that! Also, during your dreams, your major muscle groups are paralysed to prevent any ‘accidents’. ;-)

Perhaps you now understand how your dreams directly link to your moods and vice versa?

So, the metaphorical representations in your dream allow your brain to process and release those pent up emotions – even if the dream doesn’t seem relevant to whatever happened during the previous day.

Remember the downloaded templates (see earlier in this article)?

How to interpret your dreams

Example interpretations (including emotional, nervous or mental breakdown dreams)

Suppose you had a row with your partner.

You didn’t want to express your true feelings or you felt completely out of control. Both would have left you with unfulfilled expectations (i.e. unexpressed emotions) – you’d go to sleep still feeling miffed.

You could, then, almost predict that your dream that night would be about that argument but not in any way you might recognise.

It would contain events, scenes and emotions that represent only your unexpressed emotions and thoughts.

Your partner or spouse may be represented by a gremlin, a spider or an alien you’re trying to fight off. Or, if you’d felt out of control in the chaos of the argument – you might be dreaming about having a mental breakdown, drowning or trying to escape from a psych ward.

Dreaming about a nervous or mental breakdown or emotional breakdown could also represent other types of chaos, fears or traumas from the previous day.

Dreams about cheating are another example of metaphorical representations of actual events. They unlikely mean you or your partner are having an affair.

Cheating in a dream can characterise disloyalty in any shape or form. So, your dream may simply represent your unexpressed feelings about being taken for a ride by the car sales manager, your boss or a friend.

Any unexpressed feelings (or fantasies) about wanting an affair are likely to be depicted in a dreaming sequence, not at all looking like cheating!

Dreams about fire might mean your marriage or finances are ‘burning up’. Another meaning might be that you’re on the verge of a burn-out or mental breakdown.

Your brain uses whatever image lays close at hand – in the above a fire – for its reality simulator. It’ll likely be something that recently crossed your path.

Perhaps you now understand why dream dictionaries won’t help you figure out the meaning of your dreams.

Here are some further examples of how you could look for the meaning behind your dreams.

If you were falling in your dream, your tumble could mean you’ve been worried you were falling from status. Perhaps you were worried that you were at risk of being ‘exposed’. Or maybe you failed to come up to scratch in some way.

Say you dreamt about a dog or spider.

The dog or spider might have been ‘standing in’ for someone who left you with unexpressed feelings of any kind.

You might have felt – and not communicated – worry, lust, frustration or anger. The spider, for example, could have represented someone you thought was ‘a bit creepy’. Or the dog could be someone who seemed a bit ‘playful’, and so on.

Dreaming about your ex? They likely represented someone like them.

Your brain takes any image that happens to be immediately available to match it up with an ‘alike’ situation. The catalogue of images comes from whatever’s kept you busy recently, whatever you’ve read, heard or thought about.

Religious dreams?

Wondering whether your dreams have any religious meaning?

Following on from the above explanation, if you spend much time praying, reading the scriptures, or are in any other way involved with your religion – your dreams are likely to contain much religious imagery.

The symbols and metaphors are likely to match those familiar to you – regardless of whether you’re Christian, Muslim or practice any other religion.

It could also be that you’ve simply seen someone praying on television.

Why do we forget dreams?

In short – a dream is difficult to remember because it has done its job.

During dreaming, your Automatic Nervous System has a chance to discharge the build-up energy from the previous day.

Not only does this naturally lower our stress levels, but it protects the integrity of our instinctive templates.

Without that built-in protection, those templates could potentially be ‘re-written’ – permanently damaged by the unexpressed emotions from the previous day. Your personal interpretations of events would have overridden the instinctive blueprint.

So, the dream has calmed the emotions caused by wishful thinking, unexpressed emotions and unfulfilled expectations. The integrity of the instinctive template is maintained, secured and ready to be used again without any ‘bugs’.

The dream has deactivated the emotional charge. The memory of the cause of the emotions is stored but has taken a backseat. You have forgotten your dream – you have to make an effort to retrieve it.

6 steps to help you remember a dream

1. As soon as you wake up, write a detailed description of your dream.
2. Say out loud what happened or talk to someone about it.
3. Look at the structure of the dream. Identify the beginning, middle and end. Notice where any significant events took place.
4. Connect the emotions to the elements, the characters and the events
5. Think about what prompted those emotions
6. Connect the whole dream with the events of the previous day

It can be worthwhile to figure out what your dreams represent.

Your dreams can help you identify the real crunch points, particularly during difficult times. They can help you dig deeper to find what’s at the core of your discontent, anger, sadness or disappointment.

What’s the link between dreaming and your mood?

Important to know when you’re having dreams about a mental breakdown

Important to know when you’re dreaming about a mental breakdown

Dreaming affects your mood. And conversely, your mood is proven to affect your dreams.

If you’re depressed or on the verge of a mental breakdown, here’s what will happen:

• You’ll dream more than someone who isn’t depressed. Your dreams will be more intense with vivid disasters being played out.
• You’ll start with a long period of dreaming too early in the night. Someone who isn’t depressed has the longest period of dreaming at the end of the night.
• Because you spend more time dreaming – tiring by itself – you’ll have much less restorative sleep. Excessive dreaming and fatigue go hand-in-hand!
• There’s a part of your brain constantly at work – your orientation response (the brain’s response to anything unusual, such as a loud bang, for example). Therefore, your energy store is already depleted by the time you wake up. You wake up lacking motivation and little energy to face the day ahead. (You’re also likely to get angry quicker than you might otherwise have)
• Because you feel so miserable after a lousy and eventful night’s sleep, you’re now likely to worry about the day ahead. In such a low mood, you’ve little interest in things requiring your attention and action. That’s a sure way to wishful thinking, in-action and unmet essential emotional needs, resulting in your mood spiralling down.
• Guess what?
• You’ve set yourself up for another night of excessive dreaming – necessary to discharge all that emotional arousal.
• And so the cycle of depression continues.

Source

The Expectation Fulfillment Theory of Dreaming by Joe Griffin