Part 1, Part 2
In Part 1 of this article we started to explore some of the reasons why you (or your partner) might be suffering with low male libido, but the list doesn't end there! Here you can find out how anxiety and relationship problems can play their part too - but do be sure to start off with Part 1 if you've landed here first.
Further down the page I'll give you my advice and best strategies to help you start to address the problem and get you back on the road to a happier sex life again.
If you suffer from anxiety it is no wonder that you are not doing too well in bed, or have a very low libido to start with. Interestingly an orgasm can in itself relieve some anxiety, due to the release of the hormone oxytocin.
However, you really want to be dealing with your anxiety to cure it completely - not just be content with a moment of relief. Anxiety can be such a debilitating condition, and medication is definitely not a long-term solution - however tempting its “magic” might be.
I know you can stop the panic attacks and anxiety. You know it is only going to get worse if you don't do something about it. Counselling (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and hypnotherapy can both be very helpful.
No treatment is suitable for everyone, however Chris Bayliss is THE specialist on anxiety and panic and knows how to stop the whole downward spiral (see my page on Nervous Breakdown). He has devised a holistic programme that tackles the root of the problems as well as the symptoms from several directions - hence his high level of success when treating even the most severe cases. He knows what he’s talking about - he himself suffered dreadfully for many years – so I am going to let him do the talking and tell you How to Overcome Anxiety.
About half of all people who suffer from depression have relationship problems. If you are having relationship or marital problems, you’ll need to stop putting your head in the sand and / or blaming your partner.
I strongly believe you can take responsibility and do something positive about it. You may find that your low libido is a secondary problem and resolves itself when you start dealing with the underlying issues between the two of you. To help you out with this, do have a look at my page about How to Save Your Marriage or Long-Term Relationship.
If this just serves to make you unsure about whether or not your relationship is right for you anymore, my Comprehensive Relationship Test can help you to figure it out and come to a more rounded decision.
Hypnosis is the easiest way to successfully treat male low libido. Why? Because your sex drive is controlled by your unconscious mind (in combination with your hormone levels of course).
The result of successful hypnosis? You will feel generally much more vibrant and motivated because…
Once you feel your libido is at a level that you can really enjoy sex once again, you will soon forget how troubled you were by it all.
The beauty of this treatment is that you can do it in the comfort of your own environment, when it suits you. It is safe, effective, excellent value for money and - very importantly - non-invasive.
You should be able to enjoy a really good sexual relationship. Not dealing with your limited libido right now will only lead to (further) conflict, unhappiness and disappointment. You'll feel frustrated and your wife or partner is very likely to feel rejected. So, have a look at the HynosisDownloads Bundle for Male Sexual Problems.
Generally, sex drive exists separately from impotence. Impotence means the inability to develop and maintain an erection of a quality sufficient for sexual performance.
However, impotence can be a cause of men having a low libido. Not being able to get an erection or maintain it can cause a huge sense of embarrassment, stress and consequential avoidance behaviour. This in turn can result in relationship problems. You won’t be surprised to know that it’s also linked with Depression. Check to see if you're suffering from this horrible condition.
The inability to develop or maintain an erection can happen every now and then, or for a period of time, or every now and then over a period of time.
It was thought that with age testosterone levels drop leading to a low libido in men. 40% of men over 40 years old, and more than one in five men with erectile dysfunction, have a testosterone deficiency. For an explanation of this, have a look at "How to Increase Male Libido".
It is vital that your doctor rules out any health problems, such as diabetes or heart disease, which may be causing erectile dysfunction.
Of course, your problems can also be the result of too much alcohol. You can see if you recognise what stage of alcoholism you're at to discover if you have indeed a serious problem.
If not, you could be vitamin D deficient. You need to get yourself out and about, not just to relax and/or get some exercise, but to get some sun on your skin. Vitamin D is manufactured in your skin when it's exposed to sunlight. A deficiency can cause erectile dysfunction.
In addition, sunlight boosts your testosterone levels, completely free of charge!
Being overweight data-custom-mark="true" can also lead to impotence and low libido. (I am really sorry if you are struggling with this one - I do know how difficult it can be to lose weight. Hypnosis can be a huge help, so do have a look at my Hypnosis Online FAQs data-custom-mark="true".)
When you visit your doctor, you will feel much more confident if you go armed with detailed information. It will help your doctor to decide on the tests to help diagnose the cause of your low libido or erectile dysfunction, and the best treatment.
Do ask your doctor too if any medication you’re currently taking may be contributing towards your problems.
If you only struggle intermittently with a low sex drive, my page on problem solving strategies can help you to identify exactly how and when it affects you.
If your doctor has given you the all-clear it is very possible that your libido will improve naturally. Nevertheless - it is a warning sign.
You certainly won't want to become anxious about having a low libido, and thereby doubling the problem. Although I do know that this is easier said than done…
I’d like you to have a look at my page on adrenal fatigue syndrome. You may find that there are things that you can change to improve your overall well-being. You and your partner can work on the changes together.
Most of all - you need to keep communicating with your partner. He or she may well know more about you than you think, so you should stop avoiding or hiding from the issue.
The next best step would be to contact a psychosexual therapist (sometimes called a sex therapist) for help in improving your physical relationship.
The therapist will talk with you (and your partner or wife) about what is involved in increasing your libido (and what can make sex more pleasurable for your both).
You’ll also be asked to set aside time for sex. You’re given tasks and ideas for you both to explore and try out in the privacy of your own home. A series of sessions will help to ensure that progress is made at a pace that is appropriate for each one of you.
A psychosexual therapist will also be able to identify any underlying issues that need sorting (if there are any). He or she may be able to help you with relationship advice, offer couple counselling or refer you to a couples therapist.
Part 1, Part 2
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