This relationship guide has all the information you need if you want to get your relationship back on track. Sometimes, we could all do with a little relationship or marriage guidance. Relationships can fill us with utter joy as well as total devastation. They can, at various times, lead us to become the best and the worst versions of ourselves.
And even though I’m a professional relationship expert, I’m not immune to the highs and lows that relationships can bring! So, whilst you're reading my words, know that I'll never judge you.
Here, I'm aiming to equip you with the tools you need to help you deal with any relationship problems and the roller-coaster of emotions often associated with them.
I’ve helped thousands of individuals and couples during my 24 years as a relationship counsellor (see my qualifications here). And I’ve had my fair share of personal ‘stuff’ to work through too. I know, from personal and professional experience, that relationship problems and questions can be all-consuming.
But, I also know that there’s always a solution. It may not be easy, or what you expected - or perhaps even what you thought you wanted - but I promise you, you can find your way to a happier, healthier you.
All of my experience, training and knowledge is channelled into the articles on my website, specifically to help you :-)
At the heart of a healthy relationship lies effective communication.
Not your strong point?
You can learn how to communicate better! With the right skills, you can avoid a lot of arguments and make your discussions more enjoyable and fruitful. I can help with this: take a look at my articles dedicated to improving all the ways you communicate.
Another secret to a healthy relationship is self-care. That means being able to handle difficult emotions and helping yourself to feel better rather than waiting for your partner to do it for you.
If building a healthy relationship is top of your list, be sure to my articles:
There may have been a time when you thought the two of you were soulmates, but now you’re questioning if that was ever really true. Perhaps you're wondering if it's time to end your relationship, or if it can be saved - if only you knew how.
These are big questions and decisions, so it’s no surprise at all if you feel like you could do with an expert relationship guide.
I have just what you need: take a look my Comprehensive Relationship Test and really consider investing your time and effort into it (it comes with a money-back guarantee!). This test is specifically designed to help people like you who are facing the big ‘stay or go’ question.
I know how utterly devastating it can be when you suspect your partner is having an affair. I've seen all too many couples in my counselling room whose relationships have been damaged by deceit. Even the very thought that he or she may have someone else can feel almost like a physical pain. You become anxious, you start to doubt yourself and you can't concentrate on anything else at all.
If you’re suspicious of your partner’s fidelity, you'll want to know about all the signs that can point towards their betrayal. I get that!
To discover how to spot the evidence, see my relationship guide: Signs Your Partner is Cheating on You.
You're sure of the deceit, you've found the evidence and you want to confront your partner (or have already done so). You're totally devastated.
Now what? Can your relationship be saved? Do you want to save it? Should you chuck him/her out, as no doubt your friends or family have told you? Or should you give him/her a second chance? What should you do? How can you deal with those awful feelings?
I've got your back! See my relationship guide articles:
Feeling bored in your relationship should definitely ring alarm bells, usually for both of you as individuals and for you as a couple. It’s easy to get stuck in a tired old rut once the honeymoon period is over. But it can be easy enough to rev things up again, if you’re willing to put in a little effort!
If none of these leave you feel inspired, perhaps it’s time to think about whether this relationship is really right for both of you. In which case, my Complete Relationship Guide and Test should be your next port of call. It will help you to figure out whether or not it's time to end your relationship or what you need to do to save it.
Perhaps you and your partner are dealing with a sudden crisis. Or maybe you’re aware that the problems between the two of you have been rumbling on for some time, and are slowly coming to a head. Either way, you might be struggling to find ways to deal with the issues you’re (both) facing right now.
The most comprehensive resource I can give you in this case is my page: 25 Common Relationship Problems. There you'll find the links to articles that deal with specific relationship problems in depth. Alternatively, run your eye over the list in the sitemap and click on the link that speaks to you the most.
There's no doubt that mental health problems can be the most challenging to deal with.
Because they’re generally invisible, and they have a tendency to make you feel completely alone. Not to mention, very unfortunately, the stigma that still surrounds mental health issues. It's often easier to talk about affairs, divorce or missing someone than depression, anxiety or a breakdown.
What if you're not suffering but your partner is? What should you do? How can you support them? Will they get better?
Step 1 - Acknowledge to yourself that the problem exists
And know that it's not going to get better by itself. You’ll need to commit to being active in the recovery process, regardless of whether it's you or your partner suffering.
Step 2 -Inform yourself and explore treatment and self-help options
Learn about the signs and symptoms of your particular issue. Then explore the choice of self-help strategies and possible treatment options that are available.
Step 3 - Plan the road to recovery
Decide - preferably as a couple - what you each can do to bring about the healing process. Make a monthly schedule with self-help strategies, charting your progress as you go through the days. Make a note of every positive step, no matter how small.
For further information, see Category map of mental health self-help articles.
Step 4 - Get some personal or relationship guidance and counselling
Sometimes you really just can't do it all by yourself. There's no shame in getting help. In fact, accepting help is a measure of commitment and strength!
For further information, see my article: Online Mental Health Counselling.
If you're drawn to this section, I suspect your heart is full of fear about what you stand to lose and what the future may hold. So you’ll be looking for excellent relationship help and guidance to prevent a breakup and turn things around.
You'll need to know what the warning signs of a potential breakup are, and what you can do to stop it from happening. You'll also need to be aware of what might actually worsen the situation so that you can steer clear of the pitfalls.
Here is your personal 3-step relationship guide:
Step 1 - Gather as much information as you can
You'll want to be able to get to the bottom of what precisely the problem is. My article on problem solving can help you to formulate and ask targeted questions and encourage your partner open up too.
Step 2 - Take responsibility
Consider what you can do personally about the problem(s), rather than just asking your partner to change... or, just as unhelpfully, simply pretending that everything’s okay. Get my specially developed Complete Relationship Guide to Building a Happy Relationship to get started right away.
Step 3 - Be prepared to work hard
There's no doubt that committing to saving your relationship requires a lot of effort. Part of that involves committing to becoming the best version of you that you can be (and not just someone you think your partner wants). You may find the following article especially helpful: How to Make Your Partner Fall in Love with You Again.
When a break-up is looming large, some external help and guidance can be really worthwhile. Find out about how to access immediate, professional help online here.
You may have fallen out of love, become bored or simply grown apart. Where does that leave you now? And what do you do about it?
Firstly, you’ll need to think carefully about how you’re really feeling.
If you think you’ve fallen out of love, could it just be that you’ve moved from the initial stage of all-consuming passion to the next - more stable - stage of your relationship?
If you’re mostly feeling bored, take a look at number 5 above, and also have a look through my articles about sex-related problems.
Perhaps you really have grown apart, and you know in your heart there’s no future for the two of you together. In which case, see number 10 below.
If you’re struggling to make sense of your thoughts and feelings, my simple but thorough Yes and No relationship test can help you decide what's really important to you, what you stand for and where your boundaries lie. It’ll give you greater insight into what you really want, and what you need to do to move forwards with your life and relationship(s).
Maybe you’ve tried unsuccessfully to patch up and paper over the cracks in your relationship. Perhaps you’re fed up with the rows and the bad feelings. Or maybe you just know that it’s not working - for you or your partner - even though people around you think you're an amazing couple for whom everything goes well.
There are two ways to end a relationship: badly, and well! And I always, always recommend striving for the latter. Even if you’ve grown to really dislike your partner, a bad ending will only hurt you too. If you still love your partner, but know that you'll have to end the relationship, I'm sure I won't need to convince you that you owe your partner a gentle but clear ending.
There’s tonnes of information on my site to help you break up well - scroll through the list of break-up articles and pick the starting point that’s most appropriate for you.
Relationships take care, commitment and work, and when they’re in good shape the rewards can be unending. But when they’re bad, the difficulties can be oh so draining and potentially have a negative impact on other aspects of your life.
If your relationship is in trouble but you want to save it, you’ve got a good chance of doing so - even if your partner doesn't appear to be interested. But only if you take responsibility for your own role (notice I'm not talking about working out who's at fault here!)
If, however, you know there’s no use trying anymore, then the right thing to do - for both of your sakes - is to end it as well as you possibly can.
Be honest with yourself, and with your partner, and allow yourself the time and space you need to decide where best your energies should be focused right now.
This relationship guide will be here whenever you need some guidance and a helping hand. :-)
I really hope this article is of help to you. :-)
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Thank you so much in anticipation. :-)