Are you worried about Facebook?
Have you found lately that you've been thinking about hacking into someone else's Facebook account? If so, I'm really glad you've landed here, because it's so important to think about the consequences of an action like this.
Or maybe you're worried about Facebook and how your children are using it. Below I've listed 10 ways you can help to keep your children safe where Facebook is concerned.
(In case you've landed here first, do hop over and start off with Part 1 of this article before you carry on here.)
Concerned for - or about - someone else?
Do you want to get into someone's Facebook account because you're worried for someone else's well being - perhaps a friend or a family member? How fortunate they are to have someone that cares - as a counsellor I can only approve. However ...
- Have you thought about what you're going to do if you find out that your friend’s partner is or has been cheating on her or him?
- What exactly would you tell your friend?
- Can you be sure that she or he will believe you?
It's really important that you're sure that you really want to help - and not that you're just curious. You may want to visit my page on infidelity warning signs too to help you decide what to do.
Worried about your children's use of Facebook?
I think you're absolutely right to be concerned about your children’s access to social networking sites. Every day search engines receive thousands of queries about Facebook that would turn your hair grey. ‘Hack Facebook’ is only one of them. Other queries revolve around sex and nudity.
Here's what you can do:
10 Tips to help your children stay safe on Facebook
- Open a Facebook account yourself – at least you learn to speak the ‘lingo’ which is really helpful when you talk to your children
- Learn all about the privacy settings
- Accept that it's now part of our culture. Your children ‘chat’ and write on their own and each other’s ‘wall’. They also access updates on their favourite celebrities (remember the posters you had on your wall?!)
- Ask what your child’s school is doing to teach pupils about staying safe online
- Tell your children to report any bullying immediately
- Explain why they should only accept 'friend requests' from people they know
- Insist that they don't give out any personal contact information
- Consider what you might have to do to their mobile phones to make them safe
- Pull the plug on late-night access to the internet – children need their sleep and the quality of sleep before midnight is most important
- Have a family meeting and ask your kids what solutions and/or rules they can come up with, and what kind of control they feel they need. You may just be pleasantly surprised!
The consequences of hacking
What if you were to access someone else's Facebook account? Quite apart from the legality and morality of that, there may be other consequences too:
- losing trust in that person
- being accused of being hypocritical
- losing your own credibility
- diverting the argument from what he or she is doing to what you are doing
I'm afraid that hacking isn't the answer to Facebook problems and relationships...
... it's unlikely to bring you any real peace of mind
... you may find more than you bargained for
... it's most likely to have a negative impact on your relationship
Could you be sure that what you see reflects what's happening in reality? How many other ways are there to explain what you see?
What is the risk of getting it wrong?
If your relationship has come to this, you may need to consider your suspicions in a wider context.
Facebook problems in a couple relationship: Do you both still love each other, or does it look like your relationship has run out of steam? (Consider taking my Relationship Test)
Facebook problems in a friendship: Are you taking over, rather than supporting?
Facebook problems a parent: Have you lost the ability to talk to each other?
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