Nonverbal communication - varied and interesting!

Discovering what happens in nonverbal communication is a very useful when you want to know how to improve your communication skills.  I have a whole list of types of nonverbal communication examples for you.  My website is all about verbal communication, but it would be incomplete without a page on nonverbal communication.

Nonverbal communication is most often linked though with talking and more importantly - listening.  Your listening skills - and therefore your responding skills - will hugely improve, if you support listening with observing someone's body language/nonverbal communication.  Everyone around you will benefit and it is particularly helpful in your relationship with your boy/girlfriend, partner or spouse.

Just in case you are more interested in body language: click here to see related pages about body language and interpretation further down.

If you are a professional - counsellor/psychotherapist, nurse, mental health worker, other health professional, lawyer, manager, leader, or indeed anyone working with people - your communication skills should be second to none - ideally.

Whatever your reason for finding out about nonverbal communication - I hope that you will have learned heaps from this article before you move on to the next page - from vital information to interesting tit-bits - this page is full of examples of how we communicate nonverbally.

Semiotics of nonverbal communication

Here is an unmissable presentation - it speaks for itself.

Types of nonverbal communication - an overview

There is a whole variety of ways in which we communicate meaning.  Some types of non-verbal communication are more obvious than others. 

Sign language

You could argue that the following sign languages are technically a verbal way of communicating.  Although there are no sounds, the languages are made up of a combination of words, expressions and often 'mouthing' words or meanings, as well as gestures.

5 types of sign language:

1. Sign language for the deaf  (I trained up to level II in British Sign Language. Unfortunately I did not continue with my practice and I have lost that skill.)
   Visit this fantastic page on sign languages of the world for links to other sign languages.
   
2. Sign language for people who are deaf and blind
3. Sign language for children and adults with special needs and communication problems, such as Makaton (see link further down)
4. Sign language for babies - a most fabulous way to understand and communicate with your hearing baby, before he/she can speak!
   
5. Sign language for communicating with animals: dogs and dolphins for example

6 Other types of nonverbal communication - body language

1. 'Accidental' body language - all the different types of movements, postures and facial expressions
2. Intentional body language - empathic movements and touch, postures and facial expressions
3. Intentional body language - violent/abusive movements and touch, postures and facial expressions
   
4. Observance and use/abuse of personal space
5. Dance (see further down)
6. Vocal sounds without words: laughter, crying, expression of pain, sounds like: "Mmmmm", "Aha", "Ugh!",etc.  These all express wordlessly a variety of feelings, such as surprise, disgust, happiness, anger, sadness.

2 New types of non-verbal communication

• Emoticons in emails and text messages are the newest addition to this list
• Deliberately posting photos on Facebook and other social media to provoke a reaction is also a way of non verbal communication
  

Of course, not saying anything, when there is an expectation that something should be said is a nonverbal communication, whether that is online or not.  Understanding/knowing the exact meaning of that requires careful exploration and most probably additional information though.

Respect or disrespect for cultural differences also communicates meaning - another type of nonverbal communication.

All of the above types of nonverbal communication overlap of course.  Intentional body language and types of non-verbal communication 'leak' unintentional stuff.

Dance - the most beautiful way of communicating nonverbally

Make yourself a hot drink (or cool one!), sit somewhere comfortable, kick your shoes off and watch this extraordinary video by the dance company Pilobolus.  The dance is called "Symbiosis".

This is a great piece for discussing dance as a type of nonverbal communication - perhaps on a course/for your studies.  See the highs and lows of this couple relationship literally unfold before your eyes.  It is rated as "jaw dropping" on TEDTalks.com.  Enjoy!

Other art forms as examples of nonverbal communication

What fabulous ways to communicate non-verbally!  Verbal communication never quite 'paints the picture' in your head (if you are an image thinker in particular).  And often what you 'spit out' is not really what you 'hear' in your head.  These art forms can express so much more clearly what you truly think and feel.  Just a note of caution here too - art too can be misinterpreted!

• Photography
• Painting
• Music
• Sculpture
• Even flower arranging
  
  
  

8 Indirect, nonverbal ways of communicating

This is were an understanding of psychology is helpful.  As a counsellor, for instance, I get a lot of information from the following ways people communicate nonverbally, together with what is being verbalised, it helps to build a picture of what is actually going on:

1. Forgetting a for someone else important date
2. Not arriving for a date/occasion/appointment when you are expected
3. Ignoring someone
4. 'Using' someone
5. Not helping someone when you could
6. Going out of your way to help someone
7. Removing or showing signs of your rank before talking to someone of a lower (or higher) rank
8. Dressing up or dressing down for an occasion/event - to fit in, impress or stand out

You also communicate information about you by the following types of non verbal communications:
the kind of books you read, the way you dress, the programmes you watch, the magazines you subscribe to, the websites you visit, the organisations you belong to.

What you own or what you like to own communicates without your uttering a word: your house, car, gadgets, furniture - generally your taste in just about everything.

9 Types of nonverbal communication by professionals

1. Morse code
2. Use of flags
3. Signing used by referees
4. Tic-tac - used by on-course betters on horses in the UK
5. Trading signals
6. Wearing a rank specific uniform
7. Service and Regiment specific uniforms
8. Wearing a uniform of any kind
9. Size or site of an office

Types of nonverbal communication: body language

For an overview of movements of the body, visit my page on body language signs (see Links).

Body language too is a type of non-verbal communication.

Thought you weren't any good at reading body language?  Think again ... watch that super video from Urban Theory Films on my page on interpreting body language (see Links).  Not a word spoken, but so much being 'said'.

The nonverbal signs of a 'nervous breakdown'

How would you know that someone is 'not doing very well' and on the verge of a nervous breakdown?

Here are the nonverbal signs of someone about to have a mental/emotional breakdown:

• hunched-over shoulders
• looking either quite 'blank' and in trance or as if being 'chased'
• fidgety, restless
  
• crying easily (well ... that might just be very verbal!)
  
• easily irritated and angry
• 'jumpy'
• stress 'written all over the face'
• body-language markedly changed from what you would normally observe from them
• weight loss or weight gain

Making the most of your body language

Communicating with someone close does not only involve talking and listening.  You communicate non-verbally with your body too, by making eye contact, holding hands, smiling, winking, stroking, cuddling, kissing, laughing, embracing, making love, etc.

The danger of interpreting non-verbal communication

Body language in particular can potentially provide additional information about thoughts and feelings.  It may reveal an incongruence between what is being said and what is really going on inside.  For instance: someone may say "yes", whilst shaking their head.

Feelings may not be expressed verbally, but they can ‘leak out’ and ‘morph’ into body movements - nonverbal communication - often outside of the individuals awareness.

Use what you observe as a ‘sign post’ and make a mental note.  You may want to return to what was discussed.  Avoid making assumptions - you could be so wrong!  Ask what going through your partner/husband/wife's or even client's mind, if you are visiting this page as a (future) therapist.  Do it gently though - you would not want to 'crash' through their defenses.

Your brain makes thousands of minuscule observations that never reach your conscious awareness.  Can you really be sure that the non-verbal signs you consciously observe are not connected with another process?  Ask yourself what other train of thought, feeling or impulse may have sparked that nonverbal signal?  Are you sure that you are not looking for what you would really want to see?

The meaning of nonverbal communication

It is not helpful to attach a ‘fixed meaning’ to particular movements.  Avoid ‘interpreting’ non-verbal 'signals' without other evidence.  You may also like to visit my page on the body language of a liar and body language signs.

You would want to take note of all aspects of body language, so here is another list with a little more detail.

The types and signs that make the body 'dance'

There is constant movement in your body, changing from moment to moment with the meaning of what you are thinking and what you are trying to say outloud in company.  The body is seldom static.  Really learning to pick up on all the nuances and all types of non verbal communication takes practice and time.

Over time you will find yourself noticing more and more detail as you progress from any stage between being consciously incompetent to being unconsciously competent.

The research on nonverbal communication

Much of the commonly quoted research on non-verbal communication is incorrect.  Do follow the link below and read the article - the author describes exactly how the misconceptions came about.

The myth Communication is made up of: 55 % body language 33 % tone of voice 12 % words Read more ...

The role of 'expectation' in nonverbal communication

Can you really be sure that you correctly match what you observe on the outside with what is happening on the 'inside' of that person - regardless of what type of nonverbal communication we are talking about?

Remember too that you are likely to have an expectation.  You may be hoping for a particular sign, such as an indication of interest or love.  You may be vigilant and watch out for a potential signs of danger, for example if you live in an environment where there is a potential for violence.

Having an expectation may:

• set you up for disappointment
• cause a surprise
• sharpen your awareness and protect you
• cause you to filter out other signs
• be observed in your body language
• be picked up by the other person
• be misinterpreted

Rather than to take a risk by taking a shortcut, it is far better to take the time to really get to know someone and/or look for other signs to confirm your expectations.

You may also be interested in:
Interpreting body language signs Body language signs Relationship communication Warning signs of a breakup Infidelity warning signs Signs of a nervous breakdown Advanced/active listening skills

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Other helpful links:

Makaton.org
TEDTalks - Pilobolus
Wikipedia - Nonverbal communication

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Nonverbal communication in the news:

2 Nov 2011 Sciencedaily - Understanding emotions without language

Images courtesy of: 1 Sergio Roberto Bichara; 2 Leroy Skalstad; 3 Geo christian; 4 Moy cody

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