Sex and your relationship

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Stop arguing, start talking about sex

It may be that you find talking about sex really difficult, so having a 'proper conversation' about it within the context of a loving relationship may seem ever so daunting. Particularly so if you want to challenge your partner about your sexless marriage.

If so - I hope I can help you along a bit. Below is a list of questions that'll help you give your conversation about sex a focus.

Once you get the hang of it and you've got to know what makes your partner ticks a bit better, you may feel more confident talking about whatever sexual problem is troubling you. So, here goes...

10 Questions to help you get comfortable with talking about sex

  1. How did you learn about sex?
  2. Who exactly told you what, where and when?
  3. What were your parents'’ attitudes to sex?
  4. Did you play any games with your siblings or friends as a child that had a sexual element?
  5. What was your first sexual experience like?
  6. Were you in love? Was it just for sex?
  7. Were you, as a teenager, able to confide in anyone about sex?
  8. What's your attitude towards your own body, hygiene, health, menstruation, pregnancy, contraception, fantasies, etc.?
  9. How does your religion prescribe what is and isn't 'acceptable'?
  10. How bothered are you about your partner's sexual past?
couple in love laying close together

What to do about your sexless marriage?

Sex is a problem, but your relationship seems fine?

Think about contacting a psychosexual therapist (see links below), who can really help you deal with your sexless marriage or relationship.

Your relationship is in trouble?

Consider contacting a couple counsellor (see my page on how to find a counsellor).

If counselling isn't an option for you, have a look at my review of this really effective Relationship/Marriage Repair Blueprint. Imagine the relief you'’ll feel when you get that problem sorted!

Alternatively you can speak to an online qualified sex therapist right from my site at a time that suits you. It'll be in confidence and you can use a screen name if you wish.

Is your medication at the root of the lack of sex?

Check the side effects of any medication you're taking. Your drug may be your problem.

Unsure about your relationship?

Stop pretending! Have a look at my Relationship Quiz to help you make the right decision.

Too shy to feel comfortable with sex

There's a super self-hypnosis download for dealing with feeling shy when you're naked. Don't let your shyness and discomfort lead to a sexless marriage, whereby making love is the last thing on your mind.

Other sexual problems?

Don't despair - I recommend self hypnosis for a huge range of emotional and sexual problems. Have a look at my review of very likely has just the right download to help you - no matter what issues you're facing. It's a straightforward and cost-effective way of helping yourself - in the comfort of your own home!

What about gender?

Let's not forget the gay/lesbian - bisexual - heterosexual 'issue'.  

  • How do you define gender?
  • Do you suspect that your partner is bisexual, gay/lesbian or transexual?
  • Where are you on the scale?  
  • How does your religion deal with the 'issue'?
  • What about your family?

I can't do any better than let artist iO Tillet Wright do the talking here...

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Related Articles

Other Helpful Links

BASRT - the British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy
AASECT - American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counsellors and Therapists
ASERT - Australian Society of Sex Educators Researchers and Therapists
Indiana University study on sexual behaviour and condom use in America

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Elly Prior

It's me - Elly Prior, I'm the Founder and Author of this site. I'm a 'real' person! I'm hoping to make a positive difference, small or large, to every person who visits my site.

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Image courtesy of: Pedro Simoes