How to avoid Christmas relationship stress
Although I know it can be tough, keeping things in perspective can often help to reduce relationship problems at Christmas.
Here are my top tips to help you learn how to avoid Christmas relationship stress. (In case you've landed here first, do be sure to hop over to Part 1 of this article for more advice on How to Survive Christmas.)
8 ways to avoid Christmas relationship stress
I so hope that you and your partner are indeed going to enjoy a great, loving Christmas together.
Here are my top tips for keeping things in perspective:
- Don't panic about last minute 'stuff' not being there or not being right. Forget about running back to the shops, standing in endless queues and spending more than you had intended. Instead, rely on and use the wonderful problem solving properties of your brain.
- Accept that whatever happens and however hard you try to get it right - someone is going to have 'the hump'. They are very likely to get over it. If not… time out and distance gives everyone time to reflect.
- You don't have to feel responsible for someone else's happiness. You can bend over backwards and still not get it right for some people. You've probably already thought of someone that fits the bill!
- When you filter out the 'wants' from the 'needs' of all those expectations, you realise how little meaning there is in anything other than lovingly connecting with each other, friends and family. (Yes, I know there are troublesome members in your family - every family has them!). This makes it no different from any other day, and Christmas is only 2 x 24 hours.
- If you have people staying with you, ensure you make plenty of time for 'privacy'. This should be a time deliberately set aside for everyone to quietly enjoy a couple of hours without any other expectation than to be respectful of others' time, space and sensitivity to noise. You and your partner could go out for a walk, or slip out for a quiet drink together.
- You're likely to have a great Christmas if you can enjoy it 80% of the time and not let the 20% that wasn't so great spoil the rest. It's going to depend on your attitude. Unless of course there truly is a major drama and let's face it: life does have a way of throwing things at us when we least expect it!
- Be conscious of how much you drink. If you're at all concerned, try the hypnosis download: Party and Have Fun Without Alcohol.
- If your relationship or marriage is not what it used to be, you may need to consider all the expectations and options at Christmas even more carefully.
Rather than let all that energy you've put into Christmas dissipate - why not use what you've experienced/learned to make next year's Christmas easier and quicker to 'organise' and 'run'.
After Christmas, arrange for a time to give everyone an opportunity to comment openly and honestly on how Christmas was from their point of view. You may or may not like what you're going to hear, but make no judgements, don't punish and keep it positive.
Just summarise without any undertone, in your own words, what you've heard from your partner and your children - the good, the bad and the ugly. Write it down 'as is' and discuss how you'd all like it to be next year.
I do hope that some of my relationship tips and advice will help you to have an even more enjoyable and peaceful Christmas.
If your relationship or marriage is in trouble - don't delay doing something about it. I recommend Save your Marriage/Relationship to help you get started on the right track straight away.
This light is from me to you. Wishing you peace and love this festive season, where ever you are and whether or not you actually celebrate Christmas.
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