Relationship counselling

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

If you're wondering about relationship counselling and whether or not it's right for you, I so hope the information on my pages will help you with this decision.

Before we take a look at what not to expect from couple counselling or marriage guidance, do make sure you have a look at Part 1 first. There you can find an explanation of the ways relationship counselling could help you.

What not to expect from couple/marriage counselling

What you will NOT get in relationship or couples counselling is:

  • advice to end your relationship, without you having come to that conclusion yourself (though your counsellor will discuss your options with you, particularly if you're in an abusive relationship)
  • an opinion on your partner in terms of ‘good’ or ‘bad’
  • destructive criticism about behaviours, actions and opinions
  • hope that your counsellor can change your partner

Your partner won’'t go for couple counselling?

Often one of the partners doesn't want to go for couple counselling - for whatever reason. Very often it's the male partner. If you really think that relationship or marriage counselling can help and your husband or wife won't go - then you can start by yourself. Your partner may decide to join you at a later stage.

Individual counselling can still help you to:

  • consider and manage the effects on the people around you of changes in you, your circumstances and your decisions
  • explore the role you might play in your relationship problem - without judgment
  • explore your options in terms of your future
  • improve your communication skills if necessary
  • identify and deal with any personal - as well as relationship - problems
  • get support if you or your partner end your relationship or marriage, from someone who is completely independent

You can speak to a qualified counsellor now, right from my website.

Now there's another option to couples therapy

Just watch this video from the University of Rochester...

Not sure it's couple counselling you need?

Not sure at all that you want to save your relationship or marriage?  This Relationship Compatibility Quiz will help you think through all the important issues so that you can make the right decision.

Do you suspect that your partner may be about to leave you? In this case, I want you to be prepared. It's all too easy to do all the wrong things, such as becoming 'clingy' with constant texting, phone calls etc.  To find out what you should be doing, hop over to my page on how to stand any chance of a reconciliation.

Pre-marriage counselling

Pre-marriage counseling is a really good idea before you tie the knot. So many problems can be sorted before you both commit yourself to the marriage, including...

... arguing
... general communication problems
... issues with in-laws
... financial problems
... problems with the children (if it's not your first marriage)
... sexual problems 

It may feel difficult to get the relationship you want when it seems so much is stacked up against you. You might feel it's impossible to stop the marriage preparations. The thought of telling your future wife or husband that you're worried may fill you with horror. Yet in secret, you wonder if you should go ahead with it all.

The good news is that you could perhaps consider talking to your partner about making a really positive step. You're much more likely to get a positive answer if you say you want to invest in the marriage by going for pre-marriage counselling.

If you're both committed to sorting things out, there's every chance that you can have the relationship and marriage you want.  A couple/marriage counsellor can certainly help you on your way.

Couple sitting on a bench, talking

What about your own personal problems?

If you know you're struggling with your own emotional issues, then see in Part 3 how addressing these first can Really Help Your Relationship or Marriage. It includes a great video explaining the outcome of some really interesting research.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Other helpful links

University of Rochester - Divorce Rate Cut in Half

Do you want to save your relationship? Or are you keen to improve it...

Get an online professional, licensed relationship therapist to help you now

Your problem is never too small or too big, too silly or too complicated to ask for help from a relationship expert.

Connect with your therapist as often as you like in confidence (no need even to give your real name).

Get help now in 3 easy steps:

  1. Click the image below and fill in the two online questionnaires (it takes just a few minutes)
  2. Complete the sign up process
  3. Choose how to pay (it's safe and secure)

Then all you need to do is write down your troubles!

Regain your joy, intimacy, companionship, trust, passion, communication, friendship, affection...

Click the image below now to start:

Available on the App store and Google play

I want to upfront with you - I earn a commission from BetterHelp. This is how I earn an honest income, whilst giving away tonnes of free information throughout my site. You pay the same fee, regardless.

Found this page helpful?
Please, pay it forward - click 'Like'...

Multicoloured thumb up

Need help?

Elly Prior

Hello you! :-)

It's me - Elly Prior, I'm the Founder and Author of this site. I'm a 'real' person! I'm hoping to make a positive difference, small or large, to every person who visits my site.

Do you need some help? There are licensed therapists waiting to help you right now. You can connect with your very own therapist as often as you want on any device, whenever it suits you.

OR... ask for help here (please keep it short). I would be delighted to write a few lines to support you. :-)

Images courtesy of: Don DeBold