Signs of infidelity

Infidelity warning signs

Scared of finding out?

If you suspicious about your partner/spouse's behaviour, you may feel scared, and/or angy.  Stick with me, because you may need someone to tell you that you are not going mad.

He/she might deny all, whilst you know that something is not right.  You may even have tried to deny it to yourself for a while.

What are the infidelity warning signs?

Nothing I can say or write will give you a definite answer and I would want you  to be careful not to jump to conclusions. However, here is what you should be looking at for signs that might indicate that your partner, spouse or boy/girlfriend is having an affair:

• Body language (see below for non-verbal communication)
• What is being said and not said
• How it is being said
• Actions that don’t fit their values and beliefs
• Behaviour that is ‘out of the ordinary’
• Secrecy around use of mobile phones and computers
• Questions about your whereabouts

What about the body language of someone who is lying?

• They maybe looking down - a possible sign of guilt
• Their eyes maybe shifting all over the place, trying to avoid your gaze
• They may stare at you, holding your gaze as they know about #2
• They tend to blink more when staring
• They maybe hiding their hands (a left-over from childhood: "I didn't do that, honest") Watch the videos at www.bodylanguageguide.co.uk
• They generally are 'not themselves'
• They may blush when you talk about the subject (be careful they maybe embarrassed, but not actually guilty)

8 Behavioural signs pointing to possible infidelity

• Avoiding conversation
• Avoiding certain subjects
• Hiding their phone, particularly if it used to be out in the open
• Changing dress style
• Starting going to the gym and working out regularly
• Paying generally more attention to their looks
• Dropping a name in the conversation once too often
• Acting 'out of the ordinary' generally

What your partner might be saying

There are further warning signs that all is not what it seems.  How keen he/she is to show their 'true' self.

Signs of infidelity can be found in exactly what language your girl/boyfriend is using, how she/he might steer a conversation and/or avoid talking about stuff.

• They make it sound that you have a problem and it is all your fault
• They tell you (and themselves?) that they are 'just good friends'
• They make generally derogatory remarks to you - they need to have a 'reason' for an affair and justify it, by your behaviour
• Things they say somehow don’t seem 'stack up', without you necessarily being able to put your finger on it

Your friends may have seen the warning signs before you

• Your friends may already suspect or know about the affair.
• They may be evasive when you approach the subject
• They may not know what to do with the information
• They are likely to be weighing up the cost if they tell you
• They may think it better to let sleeping dogs lie
• Real friends will do whatever they think is right for you (or them, or the friendship), even if you think differently

Don’t shoot the messenger if they tell you!  Sadly, the 'other woman/man' could be amongst your friends.

Signs of infidelity?

I have worked with hundreds of individuals and couples, when one of them was suspicious on account of infidelity warning signs.  Having the right kind of support and advice, from someone completely independent, can make the difference between yet another sleepless night or a plan of action that helps you to feel more in control.

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