How to increase libido...

Part 1, Part 2

Female libido boosters
Click here for ways to improve male libido

I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?'. He said, "I don't want to wake you up."


Joan Rivers, Comedian

If you're in need of a female libido booster, because you just have no sexual desire and perhaps just don't reach a climax - the good news is that problems with libido are often only temporary.

If you want to know how to increase your desire I'm so glad you've found my page. In this series of three articles I've listed what may affect your libido, together with ideas on what to do if you have a low libido.

Knowing what has caused your lack of interest will help you to find a solution. I've included some excellent resources to help you increase your desire as quickly as possible.

It is, however, really important that you see a doctor first. There are a number of health conditions, such as anaemia and thyroid problems, that could stand in the way of you enjoying a healthy physical relationship.

Pop over now to my page on how to deal with Sexual Relationship Problems - I'll be here when you come back.

A woman's desire for sex is based on a complex interaction of many components affecting intimacy, including physical well-being, emotional well-being, experiences, beliefs, lifestyle and current relationship. If you're experiencing a problem in any of these areas, it can affect your sexual desire.*

Improving libido for women

We can now look at some other problems that may be underlying your low libido and perhaps lack of reaching a climax. You may be suffering with...

10 Problems that can affect female desire

  1. Problems reaching orgasm
  2. Tightening of the vagina (although a female libido 'booster' won't work for this)
  3. Pain, such as vulvodynia - pain in the skin surrounding the vagina (Click here for hypnosis treatment of here for FAQ about hypnosis)
  4. Trauma - no need to know about how to increase female libido - dealing with the trauma would probably solve your problem (see part 2)
  5. Shyness when talking about what works and what doesn't, what you like and don't like
  6. Relationship problems
  7. Stress
  8. Tiredness
  9. crisis in your life
  10. Medication

Your recovery from any of these problems can be hugely improved with the help of a professional. Can I gently encourage you to consider seeing either a specialist therapist (BASRT - see helpful links) or a relationship counsellor?

If that doesn't appeal to you, I've linked to some great resources on this page to give you other ways to help to solve your problems now.

You can even access a counsellor specialised in sexual problems right from my site.

I really get that you'd rather take a 'magic pill', but trust me - you are going to be OK without it. All you need to do is to make a start... and whatever you do, don't bury your head in the sand! I'm here to help you on your journey.

If you've seen a doctor and there are medical reasons why you're having problems with desire, then your doctor can help with the appropriate treatment.

How to increase female libido

How to increase libido - heart with stars and sparkles

When you're looking at how to improve your libido, all of the points below play a part, but not all will apply to you. You may consider that some of these aspects of your well-being are obviously 'not you'.

As you're reading on stay aware of how you react to any of the points I mention. For example you may feel yourself reacting to my comments on stress, trauma and relationship problems. That reaction could give you an indication that these issues are likely to play a part in your lack of libido.

Why not do something about it right now?

Another great way to start tackling your problems is hypnosis. At HypnosisDownloads they know how to sort and soothe your unconscious mind! They have an excellent female libido booster: Increase Female Libido (link to my page on hypnosis FAQ and downloads). It'll help you to safely and fairly effortlessly increase your sex drive.

So, if right now you have little time or patience to read further and you just want to get it sorted - self hypnosis is the way to go.

What might be lowering your libido?

Let's take a closer look at some of the potential underlying causes now. I so hope I can help you identify what your own particular problems might be, so that you can start to increase your libido.

Are you feeling stressed?

It's no wonder that you can't be doing with sex when you're stressed. We evolved millions of years ago at a time when stress meant having to make a decision about having lunch or being in danger of becoming lunch!  It doesn't take much to imagine that it would be impossible to have sex when there is a risk of being attacked by a tiger!

However, whilst you're unlikely to be at risk of being attacked by an animal, you may well be living with high levels of stress. Your libido will increase when you learn to relax.

I promise you that a whole host of other complaints will reduce or even magically disappear too if you can manage your stress levels better.

Are you simply tired or completely worn out?

Do you have just too much to do? Well, if your physical relationship is suffering and you're in need of a female libido booster, I have no doubt that other aspects of your life are suffering too.  

I'm far more concerned about helping you to sort out your general tiredness than your low libido in this case. Female low libido is often linked with adrenal fatigue syndrome. Check out my page Adrenal Fatigue Symptoms to see if they fit with you.

The Energy Boosting Hypnosis Download (Hypnosis FAQ and downloads) is a good place to start. You may also find it helpful to visit my Problem Solving Strategies page to help you find out what's really at the bottom of this.

The question really is: do you want to resolve it, or do you know deep down that your tiredness helps you to avoid having sex for whatever reason? In other words, you may feel that you'd rather not know how to increase female libido.

There's a link at the bottom of this page to a research paper supporting a great book which can be a real help.

Trauma and its effect on libido

Have you been abused as a child or an adult? Or have you experienced some other trauma from which you haven't recovered? Pop over to my page on Signs and Symptoms of Trauma to learn more.

You really don't have to be walking around with that trauma in your head. Neither do you need to be 'managing' it by avoiding things that remind you of it - like engaging in a healthy physical relationship.

A counsellor really can help you put it in the past, and help you to move forward with your life.

You now have the chance to speak to a counsellor specialised in sexual problems, right from my site - anonymously if you wish.

Shyness

This issue can be a more challenging one to solve. It can need a bit more time - as I'm sure you're aware. However, it can absolutely be sorted.

You can make a really good start by reading generally about how to have a healthy sexual relationship. It'll help just to get comfortable with the language. You may also find the Shy Naked hypnosis download helpful.  

Just overcoming your shyness may improve your libido with no further need for female libido boosters.

If you have low self-esteem, perhaps a poor body-image, then the hypnosis download for Raising Your Self-Esteem is a must!

Relationship problems

I really encourage you to explore this website - I've published many articles about how to deal with relationship problems. Now is the time to do something about it, before it's too late.  

You could consider counselling to help you out of that rut you're stuck in, or you might like to try this Relationship Download Bundle.

If you're unhappy in your relationship it's very unlikely that you're going to really enjoy having sex. In this case, figuring out how to improve female libido is wasting your energy.

I wonder how you'd feel about suggesting relationship counselling or marriage guidance to your partner? If he or she isn't keen, you have no idea how to improve matters or neither of you really want couples counselling, then you might like: Save the Marriage/Relationship.

If by any chance you're in an abusive relationship, I'd really like to help you to put a stop to that now. The hypnosis download, The Courage to Leave an Abusive Relationship, can help you to pluck up the courage to make an important change. Not sure if you could call your relationship abusive?  You can find out in this Relationship Test.

If you're not sure that you're in the right relationship, then this Compatibility Quiz/Relationship Test can help you find out if your relationship or marriage has a chance and is the right one for you.

Part 1, Part 2

References

*MayoClinic.com Low Sex Drive in Women Information

Anything missing? Need help? Can you offer help?

Go right ahead and comment (please keep it short)! I'll do my best to offer some words of comfort and advice.

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Images courtesy of: Billy alexander and qThomas Bower