Part 1, Part 2
You just want to know how to get over someone - as fast as possible! I understand.
I'm not here to judge, so for me it doesn't matter right now if the object of your affection or 'infatuation' is an ex-partner or spouse, a lover or someone you couldn't have.
If only you could forget he or she ever existed, because... oh the pain, the pain! Not being able to be with him or her can be 'hell' and concentrating on anything else or just enjoying yourself is so hard.
It could be that you're still part of that person's life one way or another. You may be...
... working with him or her
... seeing or meeting them every day
... meeting them in the gym, club, regular meetings
... parenting your children together
He or she may be...
... your 'ex' (read this page on how to get over a relationship too!)
... part of your friendship group
... a professional you're consulting
... someone you're having an affair with
... a business partner
Whatever the circumstances - you wish you could get them out of your mind, even if you're desperately wishing they could be part of your life! It's like they're permanently camping inside your head.
If you were actually in a relationship with that person, you may or may not have had an inkling that it's was going to end. If it was a shock I'm quite sure you feel stunned and massively rejected. You could stay in bed and weep all day, wishing you could just switch off and forget!
You may be torturing yourself with thoughts about who he or she is with. Do you know them? Is he or she better looking? Are they better in bed? More intelligent? And so on...
Oh... and don't forget to read Part 2 of this article too; it has a video in which Prof Helen Fisher explains what happens in your brain when you're in love.
Maybe you never actually had a relationship with that person, but you so wish you had.
Maybe there's a good reason you can never have a relationship with him or her, because they...
... have rejected you
... are too young
... are not culturally compatible
... are married or spoken for in any other way.
However painful and difficult, it's such a normal feeling! You are not 'off your rocker' at all. Watch the video in part 2 for an explanation and stick with me - I am going to be right here for you!
Realising that you have recognisable symptoms can help. You won't feel so alone in your desperate search for effective ways to get someone out of your head.
So, have a look at my list of signs and symptoms of either unrequited love or a massive crush (or indeed the start of a beautiful relationship!)
I could go on of course - so many of my clients have told me all of those things and more... and in fact, I know them only too well myself! How many mirror your experience?
It may be too late, but if there's still a glimmer of hope have a look at my page on How to Create the Best Chance of Getting Back Together. There may still be a chance to mend your broken relationship.
If there is no time to waste, don't wait! Speak to someone - a qualified online counsellor right now.
There's so much to say when you're heartbroken. At the very least, though, I want to leave you today feeling a little more hopeful.
So, I have lots of strategies for you to focus on to help you to start feeling better sooner rather than later.
Just stopping thinking about that person isn't going to work. So, in part 2 I'll give you a list with tried and tested ways to help you move on from someone you love.
First of all - being emotional costs loads of energy. You may well be tempted to spend your time thinking about the lost love, nurturing every thought about him or her. Perhaps you're even devising imaginary (or real) plans to rekindle the love that never was, or that's now considered dead by the other person.
It all adds to the emotional overload you're already dealing with.
Therefore I really encourage you to ensure that your body and mind are nurtured to help you feel strong in the face of that temptation, with the following...
Choose something and commit to it. Today is the first day of the rest of your life - time to move on!
So join me in Part 2 for my top tips on How to Get Over Someone...
Part 1, Part 2