Part 1, Part 2
You just want to know how to get over someone - as fast as possible. I understand!
I'm not here to judge, so for me it doesn't matter if the object of your affection or 'infatuation' is an ex-partner or spouse, a lover or someone you couldn't have. For all, there are overlapping feelings (as well as feelings and reactions specific to you in your particular circumstances).
If only you could forget he or she ever existed, because... oh the pain, the pain! Not being able to be with him or her can be 'hell' and concentrating on anything else or just enjoying yourself is so hard.
It could be that you're still part of that person's life one way or another. You may be...
... working with him or her
... seeing or meeting them every day
... bumping into them in the gym, club, or at regular meetings
... parenting your children together
He or she may be...
... your ex (read this page on how to get over a relationship too!)
... part of your friendship group
... a professional you're consulting
... someone you're having an affair with
... a business partner
Whatever the circumstances - you wish you could get them out of your mind, even if you're desperately wishing they could be part of your life! It's like they're permanently camping inside your head.
If you were actually in a relationship with that person, you may or may not have had an inkling that it was going to end. If it was a shock, I'm quite sure you feel stunned and massively rejected. Maybe you feel you could just stay in bed and weep all day, wishing you could just switch off and forget!
You may be torturing yourself with thoughts about who he or she is with. Do you know them? Is he or she better looking? Are they better in bed? More intelligent? And so on...
(By the way, don't forget to read Part 2 of this article too; it has a video in which Prof Helen Fisher explains what happens in your brain when you're in love.)
Maybe you never actually had a relationship with that person, but you so wish you had.
Maybe there's a good reason you can never have a relationship with him or her, because they...
... have rejected you
... are too young
... are not culturally compatible
... have the 'wrong' religion
... are married or spoken for in any other way
However painful and difficult, it's such a normal feeling! You are not 'off your rocker' at all. Watch the video in part 2 for an explanation and stick with me - I am going to be right here for you!
Realising that you have recognisable symptoms can help. You won't feel so alone in your desperate search for effective ways to get someone out of your head.
So, have a look at my list of signs and symptoms of either unrequited love or a massive crush (or indeed the start of a beautiful relationship!)
I could go on of course - so many of my clients have told me all of those things and more... and in fact, I know them only too well myself! How many mirror your experience?
It may be too late, but if there's still a glimmer of hope have a look at my page on how to create the best chance of getting back together. There may still be a chance to mend your broken relationship.
If there is no time to waste, speak to a qualified online counsellor now. You can connect with an expert for free for 7 days (yes, really!)
First of all, know that being emotional costs loads of energy. You may well be tempted to spend your time thinking about the lost love, nurturing every thought about him or her. Perhaps you're even devising imaginary (or real) plans to rekindle the love that never was, or that's now considered dead by the other person. However, that all adds to the emotional overload you're already dealing with.
Just stopping thinking about the love that never was, or your ex, isn't going to work either.
Therefore I encourage you to ensure that you nurture your body and mind to help you divert your attention and feel strong in the face of that temptation.
In part 2 I'll give you a tonne of tried and tested ideas and advice to help you move on from someone you love.
Choose one or two things from the list of strategies in Part 2 and commit to them. Today is the first day of the rest of your life - it's time to move on!
Join me in Part 2 for my top tips and best relationship advice on How to Get Over Someone... where you'll find:
Part 1, Part 2