How to find a lawyer
Choosing the best law firm

Not what you are looking for?  Use my Sitemap or do a Site search.

Finding the best divorce/family lawyer is important for your sanity, the family's well-being and your wallet.

So here is my advice for finding the right person or company (whether in your locality or online) when you are going to divorce or when you need a lawyer for any other family matters.

Before you start finding the right attorney/lawyer and spend your money - are you sure you have made the right decision to end your marriage/relationship?  If not, this end relationship test can help you think through all the important issues.

OR if you absolutely know you want to save your marriage and don't want to go for counselling (or your spouse doesn't) - try Save Your Marriage Today.  The author definitely doens't like couple counsellors - or at least not those who are not properly trained - but I like the fact that he, like me, believes that you can save a marriage even when you think all is lost and your partner isn't interested in trying anymore.

How to choose the right lawyer/law firm for you

Before you instruct a lawyer/attorney, ask yourself:

• Would you feel more comfortable with a male or a female lawyer?
• Would you prefer someone from your own culture?
• Would you feel more comfortable with someone your own age, younger or older?
• Would you be happy with a less experienced lawyer/solicitor/attorney?
  
• How much would you want to be involved in the process?
• Are you already well-informed and would like to be ‘in the driving seat’?

Professional considerations for you choice

Your attorney or lawyer should:

ideally be experienced in family/matrimonial law for divorce should be a specialist rather than a generalist be prepared to consider an amicable solution for the divorce - a negotiated settlement should have experience of taking a case to court be tough on your behalf if necessary (For birth injuries/trauma - should be experienced in that particular field)

• should not have acted for both of you in the past (potential conflict of interest)
• should ideally be accredited as a family lawyer by Resolution (UK) (formerly the Solicitors Family Law Association
  
  

What about the law firm?

You will be telephoning them, waiting in their waiting room, exchanging letters and receiving their bill.  You want to know that they are not going to add to your sense of helplessness!  So, consider the following:

• Does the person answering your call sound on the ball?
• Are your calls answered at least politely, but preferably with some kindness?
• Are your call returned as and when promised?
• Are you kept up to date with all the events, or as much as you want/need to?
• Are you absolutely clear about how much it is all going to cost you?

What should you expect from your lawyer?

Your lawyer or attorney should:

• Give balanced advice – not wanting to join you in condemning your spouse if you are divorcing
• give you practical advice, showing and preparing you for each step
• tell you gently when you are wrong, if necessary
• listen sympathetically, without getting drawn into the detail – you are paying!
• know when you should be referred to a counsellor
• be kind and reassuring
• show a degree of professional detachment
• should not be aggressive in his/her approach

What about confidentiality?

You might have ‘slinked into’ the solicitor/lawyers’s office, hoping nobody has seen you.  Once you are inside, you hope that you are ‘safe’ and nothing pertaining to you ‘leaks out’.  Therefore do consider the following questions.

• Has your lawyer discussed confidentiality with you?
• Does your lawyer/solicitor speak to clients on the phone whilst you are in the office?
• Does he/she talk about other clients?
• Can you overhear the mentioning names by other staff?
• Is there confidential material – files, papers, etc – left in view?

How to whittle your choice of lawyers down

This is not the time to focus on price necessarily.  that is why I have put it last as a consideration.  All the above points are far more important.

A divorce is expensive anyway - in terms of emotional energy, time and money.  Dividing your assets/possessions, the reduction in income, living in separate homes, etc all add to the cost of divorce.  Consider therefore the relative cost of the lawyer or attorney you choose.

You do want to know if:

• he/she does hourly billing and if so, what the fee is - do remember that is a bit like writing an open cheque
  
• she/he does flat fee billing - at least you know what you are going to be spending in advance
  
• if you are you likely to incur any additional charges
• if so, what exactly will you be charged extra for

If you are in the UK, you may want to find out if you are entitled to Legal Aid., by visiting Divorce Online.

Get it right - suffer less

You can see that it is worth spending a little time on finding the best (divorce) lawyer/attorney.

Instead of blindly clicking on an advert hoping for the best, make a list based on my advice.  At least you will feel a little more prepared.

You may be working with your lawyer for some time - depending on your circumstances.  My concern is that ultimately your lawyer does not add to the conflict by his/her style of working I would therefore suggest that you try mediation.  Your health, wealth and personal and family relationships are at stake.

You may also be interested in:	Food affects your mood!
Natural depression treatments Causes of divorce Divorce advice and counselling Divorce advice for men How does divorce affect children Managing stress in the workplace Getting over a relationship

---

---

News and divorce law:

11 May 2011 - The Telegraph: Judge demands review of damaging divorce laws

Images courtesy of: 1 Faakhir Rizvi; 2 Stephen Stacey; 3 Kristof Degreef; 4 Sigurd Decroos

---