Is Facebook causing relationship problems?

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Facebook can cause serious damage to your relationship when you come across things that your partner has posted, or that other people have posted about your partner or you.

Have you found a photo that has upset you?

The posting and tagging of photos on social networking sites causes all kinds of problems. I can understand that you feel really upset if your partner appears to have done any of the following:

  • posted an intimate photo with someone you never knew about
  • posted a photo with someone he or she denied knowing
  • posted a photo of him or herself with a former partner
  • has not kept to an agreement to delete a particular photo (often of an ex-partner)
  • re-posted a previously deleted image that you found offensive or upsetting

Was your partner 'tagged' in a photo?

Perhaps you were already suspicious that your partner has been cheating on you and these photos may have made you even more worried.

Often these sorts of photos appear after work outings, conferences, parties etc. The tagged person may be completely unaware of the photo having been taken - and even less aware of it having been uploaded. That is, – until they log in and the Facebook problems become more than apparent!

You'll need to ask what happened, but do give your partner the benefit of the doubt and stay calm.  

Read on for advice further down the page on how to deal with this Facebook problem.

Discovered hurtful comments?

Perhaps you're shocked to find what your partner (or someone else you thought you could trust) has been saying when they thought you weren't 'looking'.  

That has a particularly devastating effect if the comments are at odds with the person you thought he or she was. I can so understand that you may feel a sense of 'loss' and wonder what to do.

In a way you have lost the person you once knew. Unfortunately that means your issue now is not just a problem on your Facebook pages.

Relationship status changed to ‘single’?

Facebook relationship problem: live, laugh, love

I think you know that means trouble... particularly if you were unaware that your relationship had come to an end!

The public statement about the relationship status on a profile is an indication that the two of you may no longer be a couple. At least - it may turn out that you're not as important as perhaps you thought you were.

Your partner may also have intended to hurt you deliberately, in which case: is this really the kind of person you want to share your life with?  I really understand, though, that you may want to rescue the relationship, and if so - visit my page on How to Get Your Ex Back.

Often Facebook is used as a dating site. People become ‘friends’ to become part of someone’'s life - almost by ‘stealth’. The change in relationship status to ‘single’ can be seen as an open invitation. If this has happened to you, I strongly advise you to have a conversation with your partner.

If you've only just got together with someone, don't be surprised if your new partner's status on his or her profile remains 'single'.  He or she may just not be ready - or be as committed - as you yet. Do be patient!

Equally, if you've recently broken up with someone and his or her status changes from 'single' to 'in a relationship' within a very short period - you can be just as hurt by this particular Facebook problem.

What does all of this say about your relationship?

If you’ve been upset by something you’ve seen on Facebook, you might be starting to question the value of your relationship. Read on to Part 3 for my advice on dealing with Facebook and Your Relationship Problems, and what you should do next.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

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