Elly's advice for Ryan - dealing with anxiety and depression

Ryan, it seems you actually had been suffering from stress way before that apparently fateful Christmas day. There is only so much your body/mind can carry before the 'container' is full. When there is no more space, there has to be some kind of a reaction. For you that reaction was the dizziness, anxiety and panic. After all that has happened it is no wonder that you are feeling depressed, particularly since you appear to have lost so much of what you loved.

Reassurance
However, the good news is, that you can absolutely get over that depression and anxiety. I really don't think we have to send 'the men in white coats' in! ;-) You have clearly started to research how you can get yourself better - you are already claiming back some control. Very often it is that sense of being/feeling completely out of control that is so scary. It is very common for people suffering from panic attacks to become anxious about being anxious and the panic attacks.

Step 1 Food provides the raw material for all the processes in your body
A good website to get excellent information about how a diet high in sugar/carbohydrates can lead to anxiety and how you can begin to address that is: www.mercola.com.

Also follow the link on my page to the Institute of Optimum Nutrition for information on supplements. You may be in need of zinc, magnesium, calcium, Vit C , Vit B and Vit D. Please note that you need to discuss this with your healthcare provider and that you are responsible for your own health and well-being, including what you decide to take to supplement. In any case - eat food that has no label on it and has not been reconstituted!

I would also recommend that you research the work of Dr Mark Hyman (he call himself the accidental psychiatrist - having discovered that physical problems often underly mental health problems). Do refrain from drinking stuff like cola too.

I know you might not want to bother taking these steps, but you know what? You are not going to get better by sitting on the couch! I am not saying that you necessarily do that, but merely implying that your considition requires active management.

Step 2 Read everything you can on depression and anxiety
This website has lots of information about relationships, depression and anxiety. Read as much as you can, absorb the material and do something with it. You will also find links to hypnosis downloads - use them.

Step 3 Repair relationships
I don't know if you have talked to your mom about what happened that Christmas, but you may must want to tell her the real reason, if you haven't done that already. You do not write about what has happened with the relationship with your girlfriend, so I cannot offer any advice on that, but you will find plenty relationship advice on my site.

Step 4 Use your creativity more creatively!
People like you, Ryan, are very creative - they use their right brain to dream up and create all kinds of disasters! They rehearse all kinds of 'dramas". Of course, what you rehearse you become better at. Your mind/body experiences something that you imagine in detail, as if it is real. Athletes make use of that as they prepare for an event (research it).

You know how real it can feel, because you become terribly alarmed by your own thoughts. I think though, that you have been in this state for so long now, that now you body/mind is contantly alert - hyperalert. So, it is going to take some time to bring it back down.

I would like you to find a new project - a creative project. You have so much knowlegde - you could build a website with that knowledge in the same way that I have done. Click on The story of this website in the Navbar. Or do something else creative - it does not matter what it is, but it should require all your attention and really stretch you.

Step 5 Breathing exercises
I am pretty sure that your breathing is completely out of sync - that is one of the first things I notice and deal with when working with anxious clients.

Practice doubling your outbreath - it is your outbreath that will help calm your body. If you can, join a good yoga class. The stretching will help you let go of the stress in your body and the breathing exercises will be of huge benefit to you, quite apart from lots of other benefits. You may find that you can get on top of a panic attack much quicker by correcting your breathing.

Ryan, everything in life changes - it is a given. The good times change and the bad times change too. There is no point in wasting energy being angry with the people you perceive are the cause of those changes. You have no control over other people, though you may be able to influence some of the changes on account of your knowledge. However, you do have control over how you respond to those changes.

I wonder too how your colleagues/managers perceive you as a colleague at the moment? They too might find it increasingly difficult to deal with the change in you. However hard you have tried to hide it, my guess is that your unhappiness will be 'leaking' out somehow.

Well ... I hope that I have given you a little bit of a start, Ryan. I really want to reassure you again that you will be able to get through this. My last bit of advice is that you may want to seek some professional help to speed your recovery up a bit. It is quite a challenge to advice you like this, and there is much more to say.

Wishing you the very best,

Elly