By Elly Prior (About)
Counsellor, Founder and Author of Professional-counselling.com
How to divorce:
advice and tips to save your sanity
When you want to know how to divorce, you'll really need good advice. This isn't only for dealing with the legal aspects - but also to ensure you survive the emotional roller-coaster ride of the process itself.
I'm here to help you do just that with this series of articles on how to get divorced.
My top divorce tips (or really; professional advice on relationships and how to divorce) have come from years of experience. I'm a couple counsellor and specialise in marriage and relationship guidance.
I've presented my tips in 4 steps with unmissable information on how to divorce as easily as possible. Each step is like a subject we might have discussed had you come to see me for counselling.
Take from it what feels right for you during the various stages of your divorce.
You might also want to have a look at my pages Divorce Advice and Divorce Advice for Men. I've also written an article about finding the best divorce lawyers which I hope will also be useful for you.
Step 1: Knowing how to get divorced - are you prepared?
12 essential things to consider
You might already have chewed this over endlessly, and suffered many sleepless nights because of it. However, just in case... I wouldn't be doing my job in guiding you if I didn't discuss this with you. (I'll accept the risk of being considered patronising!)
So, here goes...
The following divorce advice is for you to consider before you and/or your partner decide that your marriage has reached the end of the road.
Do be sure that you:
- have studies how best to get a reconciliation if your partner has already left you
- have used my Relationship Test
- have tried marriage guidance counselling (although this isn't advised if you're dealing with domestic violence), or ...
- tried the Save The Marriage blueprint, even if your spouse appears to have lost all interest
- have considered face-to-face counselling for yourself - really, that's the best divorce advice I can give you! You can talk to a qualified therapist online when it suits you, right from my page.
- have given careful consideration to how you will tell or prepare your partner if you haven't already
- have read my pages: How to Break Up and How to End a Relationship - both have great divorce advice
- have tried a temporary separation for quiet contemplation, re-evaluation and/or 'sorting yourself out'
- have seriously reflected on your own role in the difficulties, rather than just blaming your partner (have a look at my page Problem Solving Strategies)
- have explored alternative accommodation if you're still living at home (do get some legal advice first)
- have considered all the financial implications of ending your marriage
- have considered the effect on your children - see my pages Children in the Middle and How Does Divorce Affect Children
Once you've done all that, I can help you with advice on how to divorce and what it entails for you and your family. I can't give you legal advice, but I can help you with divorce tips to lessen the pain of the process.
Hop over to Part 2 for the next step in my guide on how to divorce, with tips on dealing with your emotions and coping with your family and friends.
Go right ahead and comment (please keep it short)!
I'll do my best to offer a few words of comfort.