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Divorce advice uk

and divorce counselling

Separation or divorce - avoid the worst

Divorce advice uk Divorce advice (UK or elsewhere) or separation counselling and good legal advice can really help you through a very turbulent and painful time. You may feel that your husband/wife/partner is pulling all the strings, whilst you feel out of control and frightened.

It may seem that you are ’abandoned’ in some kind of ‘no-man’s land’ waiting for the next onslaught of bad news.

Life after a separation often resembles a roller coaster ride with all its foreseeable and unforeseeable ups and downs, twists and turns before the final Decree Nisi.

The ending of a relationship/marriage and divorce advice

Separation and/or divorce can be a lengthy process, during which it is most important to keep the channels of communication open. The right divorce advice from appropriate professionals can save your sanity.

Communicating effectively when you are both emotional can seem at times impossible. However, remaining at the very least polite and cooperative is vital if you have children. You may be splitting up, but you are going to be parents the rest of your lives.

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Different needs at home and in counselling

Divorce advice uk One of the partners may have been preparing to leave/end the marriage for some time, when a couple finally come to see a counsellor. He/she often still ‘cares’, but probably only like a brother or sister. The husband or wife feels as if the world around them has collapsed.

Both partner are on a different time-scale, and their needs, in counselling and at home, are very different.

The partner/husband/wife wanting to leave wants distance, afraid that any show sympathy may be seen as a sign of hope that separation or divorce can be averted. The other desperately needs the comfort of a close attachment, asking questions, wanting answers, commitment, and reassurance. The right kind of divorce advice - UK or elsewhere - is vital.

What happens in (separation) divorce advice and counselling?

A counsellor offering divorce counselling should be able to help you to:

understand normal reactions to stress and loss
explore the possible reasons for the break-up
understand what might be going on for you and your partner now
communicate effectively with your partner
help you to explore sources of support
advice you of appropriate services
identify and access your own personal resources
communicate with the most important people in your life
advice you on how to support the children
facilitate re-engagement with each other if there is a glimmer of hope
re-engage with life and find new meaning if there isn't
'normalise' feelings, thoughts and behaviours during this time of crisis

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child."

Frank A. Clark

How long it takes before you begin to feel better

Ideally you need to allow sufficient time, care and consideration to end your relationship/marriage well.

A 'good' ending will contribute to your more likely to make a success of a new relationship. That new relationship stands a better chance of flourishing when bitterness, hurt, anger and pain have subsided and children have settled. Why rush?

With the right divorce advice there is every chance that you both (and your children) will recover sooner and better.

What about balancing home, children and work?

Invariably you are worse off after you have separated/divorced. Your finances will have had a severe blow: living separately is more expensive, divorcing is expensive, you may or may not have a decent income, and that is without us having discussed maintenance.

Now, more than ever, is the time to consider developing a home-based business to allow you the flexibility to be around the children more and be less bothered by the demands of finding child-care in the future. This is never going to be an easy option.

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Getting good legal divorce advice (UK or elsewhere)

You will want to make sure that your solicitor/lawyer is experienced with divorce advice (UK or elsewhere). From my perspective as a counsellor it makes all the difference when my clients can trust that their lawyer isn't going to cause more problems between the two of them.

Why not start the process and put your initial questions to a lawyer or solicitor right here? Whilst they cannot advice, they can provide you with vital information that may help prevent your making mistakes early on and causing more issues than you are already dealing with.