Part 1, Part 2
Dealing with PTSD can be really, really tough. But I so hope the advice on my pages here will help you get through this difficult time.
If you've landed here first then do start off with Part 1, where you can find my list of 10 Strategies for Coping with PTSD.
Your feelings will have changed and your behaviour is likely to change too. These changes will have an impact on your relationship - so it's really important that you do your best to help your partner understand what's going on.
... find it hard to get out of bed
... suffer from mood-swings
... appear pre-occupied
... seem to be less loving
If you keep communicating with your partner, he or she can put your behaviour into context.
If you were always 'the strong one' and you partner leaned on you - now is the time for him/her to step up to the mark. If it was the other way around, be sure that you access other support as well. Although it may be hard, you need to make an extra effort to develop your own coping strategies, as well as asking your partner for support.
The extent to which your partner feels able to support you depends on the quality of the relationship before the trauma. How well were the two of you getting on? How much did you rely on each other for support prior to the traumatic event?
If your relationship or marriage was already a little rocky before the trauma, I really encourage you to get help sooner rather than later, to stop things deteriorating any further. Also have a look at my page: Online Hypnosis FAQ, where you'll very likely find a download that is going to be of help to you.
Below is a video presentation from Wes Moore, a war-veteran, on what helps and what doesn't when you talk to vets about their experience in war-torn countries. His story could to some extent be 'translated' to refer to other traumatic experiences.
If you're sleeping badly, suffer from nightmares and haven't yet seen a doctor, I'd encourage you to make an appointment soon. It's likely that your doctor will prescribe some sleeping tablets for you. However, these will come with the warning to only use them sparingly - sleeping tablets won't work in the long-term. As an alternative, do have a look at my Natural Sleep Remedies page.
If you're finding it really hard to cope, your doctor may also suggest you take antidepressants. A little note of caution on this - do make sure that you inform yourself really well about the dangers and side effects of antidepressants. If you don't have the capacity to look into this right now, ask someone you trust to do it for you.
Take a look at this video (it's less than 10 minutes long) for further information. The whole interview with Whittaker takes about 55 minutes, but at least this first part gives you - or someone else on your behalf - the gist of what you might want to familiarise yourself with.
I so want you to be able to make an informed choice about this.
Antidepressants blunt your emotions, which affects your ability to connect with those close to you. They can cause problems with your desire, at a time when you're already less inclined to want to bother with a physical relationship. This can add another burden to you and your relationship.
For some people though antidepressants can be a life-saver - even if as a placebo. Have a look at the links below for more pages about coping with depression.
When you're dealing with PTSD you may find that you want to avoid anything that even remotely reminds you of the original trauma.
Avoidance is OK during the first couple of months post-trauma whilst you're recovering. But after that, you should start to re-engage slowly with everything that you've been avoiding. Otherwise you're slowly building another layer of distress on top of the original trauma. But you don't have to confront everything all at once - you can take it easy, and just go one step at a time.
Coping with such an aftermath of trauma means being gentle with yourself, but also being willing to challenge yourself step-by-step.
I hope you'll believe me when I say you really will recover, but ideally you will need a professional to help you.
If you don't have access to good services when you're coping with PTSD, I'm afraid you're going to have to work even harder yourself. But I can help you with that - you can find other resources on anxiety and depression on this site. Be sure to also visit my page on PTSD treatment (see links) and Depression in Men.
Part 1, Part 2
Differentiating between stress, crisis, trauma and PTSD - Yeager and Roberts (PDF)
National Institute of Mental Health - PTSD