If you feel that you're constantly being criticised and you don't know how to deal with the emotions this causes, then I'm so glad you've found my page.
This is the third part of a series of articles on coping with criticism, so if the search engine has landed you here first do hop over to Part 1 of Dealing with Criticism to begin with. I'll still be here when you come back.
Accept the criticism - we all make mistakes
Accept the criticism calmly
Agree briefly, depending on what happened
Avoid endless explanations and excuses
Make amends, learn from your mistakes, let it go and move on
Having considered everything and decided the criticism was fair - try to take it on the chin. As a workplace counsellor I often help people deal with their feelings after negative feedback - even if it was fair. I remind them that "today's drama is tomorrow's bin liner".
Dealing with criticism can offer an opportunity to learn. If at all possible, accept the feedback as a gift. It'll motivate you to do better, change your ways, adjust your communication - or whatever it is that you need to do.
Ultimately it will make you stronger.
Thank your critic for the honest feedback. Ask him or her for any advice - if appropriate - and ask for an opportunity to have another conversation some time in the future. This will let you discuss what you've done to deal with the criticism and to show the progress you've made.
You may also want to have a look at my page How to Apologise... just in case.
If you're dealing with criticism and you've had to put up with judging, put downs, attacks, trivialising, blaming, sarcasm and sneering - it's time to consider your options.
Unrelenting criticism and name calling is emotional abuse and bullying. It's about power and control and it's totally unacceptable. No one deserves such an 'onslaught'.
If you're stuck in that kind of a relationship, whether at home or at work, then please do seek help. It's fair enough to have to deal with being criticised at times, but there's a huge difference between someone who's critical on occasions and someone who's a bully.
When your self-esteem is in your boots, you may need a friend to help you see where the boundaries of what is 'acceptable' lie.
Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.
You may just need to accept that you're going to be criticised - regardless of what you do. You really can't please everyone - particularly not if you...
... manage a team
... are a entrepreneur
... own your own company
... are a politician
... or just are successful in whatever you do.
There will be people who will be critical of you. There will also be people for whom you are never going to get it right, whatever you do. There will also be people for whom nobody is going to ever get it right.
In fact, whatever your position - you're going to be criticised for sure. But you can bolster yourself - you have control over you. (Mind you, it's worth remembering that you don't have control over anyone else - whether or not you're dealing with criticism.)
Criticised too often? Can't change the situation? One way you can learn how to handle your critic is by boosting your self-esteem and doing some assertiveness training. Then, when you're next criticised you'll be able to deal with your critic calmly and confidently.
I've teamed up with a super company - I know their work and trust their business ethics. They are HypnosisDownloads.
The right self-hypnosis download is just about the most cost effective tool I know for helping anyone to improve how they feel about and deal with life.
How to Deal with Depression
How to Build Your Self-Esteem
How to Communicate Effectively
Cutting the Arguments
How to Get over Someone
Problem Solving Strategies
How to End a Relationship
Signs and Symptoms of a Burn-out
Image courtesy of: Dimitri Tzanos