Part 1, Part 2
In Part 1 of this article we looked at why you might start to feel Bored in your Relationship, or bored with your partner. Stick with me now, and let's explore some more ways you can get your relationship out of its rut, and how you can bring the spark back...
Whatever you do - it has to be new to create that bonding effect! Get away for a few days and do something completely out of the ordinary for you. You can go cheap – by going camping or hiring a bicycle. Or you can go luxurious – even if only for one night. In fact: make plans as well as provision for the spontaneous.
Finding it difficult to decide? Brainstorm in advance one evening - make a list of things you might like to do given the opportunity. Be sure to include both your wishes. When you go along with something your partner wants to do, it’s your investment in the relationship.
You could of course be doing too much of that already - in which case, hop to the next heading. But if not ... it’s unrealistic to expect your partner to meet all your needs. You each need time for your own personal development - your own interests, hobbies and friends - as well as sharing leisure time.
There should be no need to feel threatened by your partner's outside interests if you spend enough time together and all is well between the two of you. At the end of the day you have something to talk about if each one of you cares enough to show an interest.
A relationship is like a plant - if you don’t feed and water it, it’s going to die!
If you’re both very busy - perhaps with work, your own interests (though see previous point) and/or with the children - make space in your diary for just the two of you. Put a very deliberate cross in your diary for, at the very least, one evening a fortnight, where you plan nothing at all but to be together.
Do something you wouldn’t normally do! To keep the relationship alive and healthy – it’s really helpful if every now and then you do something completely out of the ordinary.
Find those old tracks and have them as background music to a romantic evening.
Read those old letters or emails you sent to each other (if you had any at all and have kept them!)
Get the photos out from your early days.
Wear the aftershave/perfume you wore when you first met - your brain will do the rest!
No wonder you're bored! You are routinely making yourself (and him or her) more miserable. So it’s really time to save your relationship (review of marriage repair blueprint).
Not sure your relationship can last? Have you been questioning your relationship compatibility lately? Then my Relationship Test will help you to find out the state of play.
Did you get together with your partner in the hope that he or she would make your life exciting?
Only you can make your life worthwhile. Unless you take personal responsibility, you may find yourself bored in the next relationship too…
Dress up, or undress ;-), in different rooms for starters.
Take turns in organising a surprise outing (see above). If you have children, also take turns to arrange for baby-sitters (or see above).
Alternatively, cook a three-course meal for your partner (or buy ready-made stuff and pretend!), when he or she least expects it.
Spice up your sex-life; read books from Nicole Daedom, Kidder Kaper, Tommy Leanard and Tammy Nelson. Or find some exciting films!
Watch the video below for more encouragement:
Or picnic at five in the morning, watch the sun come up and listen to the birds' morning chorus. Picnic in the pouring rain or in a raging storm.
A bedroom is for sleeping (and enjoying your sexual relationship of course) - so take the television out of that room.
Make love, just be tender, listen to music or a spoken book together. Swap sides - sleep on the other side of the bed every now and then. Change the room around.
Go to bed together for a change. I know one of you may be a night owl, but hey ... this is a chance to invest in the relationship ...
Boredom leads to stress! What about being really spontaneous? Put yourself out: give partner's boss a call and arrange for your partner to have time off.
Sort the children, the cat, the dog and the plants and arrange a complete surprise.
Be sure that your partner is up for those kinds of tricks though - you wouldn’t want to cause a medical emergency! ;-)
Write down any ideas you can think of to change your regular pattern, however silly it might initially seem. Sift later and plan for the best.
Make sure that you won't again need to search for 'how not to be bored'.
Oh... and do make each other feel special with a card or a gift every now and then!
Part 1, Part 2
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