Bored with your marriage or relationship?
Break the routine!

Part 1, Part 2

Are you bored or is your partner bored in your relationship?  Do you think you’re both stuck in a rut – in a dull marriage or long-term relationship?

Maybe it’s time to inject some energy into your relationship or marriage, before you give up hope. I'm going to help you with that right here and now.  I have a list of solutions to help dispel that boredom and create more excitement, as well as intimacy.

Are you bored and don't even know how to talk about it to your partner? Get my Communication Kit for Couples to get you started. After that, do come back here so you can both have a look at what you can do to improve the situation.

Is it normal to feel bored in a relationship?

Boring relationship or marriage

You’re probably aware that it’s fairly normal for that all-absorbing flush of excitement in the early stages of a relationship to wear off somewhat.  It may last from a few months to a couple of years.  However, romantic love can and does last in some relationships.

To bring back that sparkle, one of the best things you can do is engage in some completely new activities.

Breaking the monotony

Are you absolutely sure that you’re bored with your relationship or marriage, or your partner - or are you actually Bored with ‘Life’?

If you know it’s your relationship - could one aspect of your life (for example work or an affair) be so fast-paced and exciting that your marriage or relationship feels boring in comparison?

Read on for ideas to change your routines and break the monotony of your relationship - if at least for the moment you’re committed to making it work.

I also suggest you get my Advanced Communication Kit for Couples to start enjoying deeper, more meaningful and also fun conversations.

Personal issues leading to boredom?

Do try and create some happiness in yourself as well as in your relationship. Take this opportunity to start sorting out any personal issues.

You don't necessarily need counselling or therapy. You can do an awful lot yourself and really make a difference. Undoubtedly that will do your relationship or marriage the world of good too.

Hypnosis can be a great way to make those changes, so have a look at Online Hypnosis FAQ. Imagine sorting out your problems with self-hypnosis whilst for example lying on your bed or sitting in the sun. How cool is that? You'll be surprised at how quickly your boredom can disappear.

If you really feel stuck - in your relationship or with yourself - then you can talk to an expert counsellor right from my site in the strictest confidence.

Change your perspective

You may be able to reframe ‘routine’ into a ‘sense of security’ when you’re bored with your marriage or relationship.  This reframe changes the meaning of the supposed boredom and monotony into a deeper attachment - the next stage in your relationship.  This is the stage whereby you have an opportunity to nurture a warm sense of lasting, comfortable and settled togetherness.

If you feel you’ve just generally run out of steam then do have a go at hypnosis. It’s easy, cost-effective and is a great way of dealing with all kinds of problems. You can learn more about self-hypnosis here.

Here are some ideas to help you get started with changing your routine...

Do something completely out of the ordinary together

Life can become ever so serious and predictable when you have bills to pay and a job to do.  You may have little control over that.  However, you can change your routine completely in other ways.

For example: if you both like the cinema, go to a theatre performance instead.  If you like going to gigs, go to an opera.  If you like watching movies at home, go for a six-mile hike.  Instead of going to a football match, go to a tennis match.  If you like clubbing, how about ballroom dancing for a complete change?

Dr Helen Fisher is a biological anthropologist, who has researched why and whom we love for She’s discovered in her research that doing novel activities stimulates the dopamine circuit in the brain – this is the circuit of romantic love*.  So go for it!

Just think of the anticipation, and the stories you can share after the event.  I’m sure you get my drift!

List with ideas to stop you feeling bored right now.

Join me in Part 2 for more tips and advice about Dealing with the Boredom in your Relationship...

Part 1, Part 2


*Fisher, H. Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love. Holt Paperbacks; Reprint edition December 9, 2004.

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Elly Prior

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It's me - Elly Prior, I'm the Founder and Author of this site. I'm a 'real' person! I'm hoping to make a positive difference, small or large, to every person who visits my site.

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