Body language signs and attraction

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Body language signs: couple in love
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Understanding body language signs is not only important in personal relationships, but it can also be helpful for professional relationships too. 

Becoming observant of – and learning to understand – non-verbal communication increases your emotional intelligence.

Maybe you’ve landed here on this page as you’re keen to uncover the body language signs of physical attraction (see list further down). It can be really hard sometimes to figure out if someone ‘fancies’ you or not!

Understanding what is being conveyed without words is obviously very useful if you’re dating, but you might be here for professional reasons. Either way, there’s lots of advice on this page to get you started!

Be sure to also have a look at Types of Non-Verbal Communication.

Spotting body language signs and responding to them

It’s only with years of experience that I’ve learned to pick up on signs that I need to pay attention to.  As a counsellor I have found over time what to look for, what to do with it, how much attention to give to it, and how and when to respond.

You are faced with a completely different situation. So, with the knowledge I’ve gained, I hope to be able to help you to understand other people's messages a little better.  

It’ll prepare you for more fruitful conversations with the people around you - be they friends, family, business associates or students.  Though I will focus on you and your partner in particular.

How to avoid making mistakes

It’s not helpful to attach a ‘fixed meaning’ to any particular movements as a 'sign' of something. It’s best to avoid ‘interpreting’ non-verbal signs without other ‘evidence’.

Reading body language can be a complicated business, even though we all have a natural ability to do it.  People who are deaf and have learned to use sign language rely on several ways to communicate clearly. They use hand signals, mouth the words, sign the ‘space’ they place people and objects in and move their bodies.

What did your email, text message, whatsapp really mean?

I used to work as a school counsellor. Youngsters would frequently get into trouble with their friends - all too often they would try to restore the peace with by electronic messages of one kind or another. 

So, to get the point across I often demonstrated the many different meanings of just this sentence: "Where were you last night?"

Try it for yourself shifting the emphasis to different words.

Remind yourself of any messages you have recently sent.

How would the meaning of that text or email have changed if you had 'said' it with a smile or with a cheeky sense of humour? What would it have meant if you said it in an angry voice, still using the same words?  How would it have sounded in a gently challenging tone of voice, or if you had delivered in a 'straight to the point- no nonsense' kind of way?

The meaning of a face-to-face communication depends to a large extend on your body language and how you use your voice. You do have control over your part of the ‘electronic’ communication… but the receiver may read your message in a way you did not intend!

Bearing this in mind, why not go back over some of your recent messages, just out of interest.

Have a look at my page on how to write romantic text messages too.

What does your face say about you?

Your face communicates a great deal about how you're feeling... and often you might not even be aware of the signs you're giving off. Have a look at the video below which is beautiful throughout - interesting initially, but then utterly moving.

To further understand body language, join me in Part 2 - where there's another fascinating video that explores just what your face might be saying...

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Other interesting links - Gestures improve communication, even with robots

Getting help

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Image courtesy of: Pedro Simoes