Dealing with a birth trauma

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A birth trauma can be caused by a wide variety of problems.  I am so very sorry if the delivery of your baby was traumatic, for whatever reason.  It is difficult to even imagine what distress you must be in, whether you are the mum or the dad.

If you have managed to 'live with' the trauma of a previous child birth and now you are pregnant again and frightened about giving birth - this page is for you too. Or maybe you are even too traumatised to ever consider having another baby.

What support have you had in dealing with the birth trauma?

I am disappointed for you that you have found yourself even having to look to the internet for support to help you deal with your birth trauma.  Perhaps you have felt unable to admit to others (or even to yourself) that you are suffering.

Alternatively, you may not have been 'signposted' to the right kind of help.  You may not have felt supported by the professionals around you.  Yet you have tried desperately to get help with getting over what has happened.  Perhaps you are now even looking for a birth injury lawyer/attorney.

What caused you to feel traumatised?

I am listing here the kind of situations that could potentially lead to your feeling devastated and traumatised by childbirth - even if some of them are not strictly 'birth traumas'.  This list is not exhaustive:

• The delivery of a baby itself may have been traumatic
• You have sustained an injury
• Your baby may very sadly have died before or during the delivery
• Your baby appeared to have been injured during childbirth
• Your baby may have arrived too early and is in a special care baby unit
• Your baby has special needs - unexpected or not
• You may have felt out of control of the way in which the baby was delivered, despite your understanding the reasons for it (or perhaps not!)
• the way you felt the doctors/midwives/nurses conducted themselves
• the way your partner acted - if he (or indeed she) was even there as expected
• distressing (family) events leading up and around the birth
• the manner in which you fell pregnant - though this is not strictly a birth trauma - it could certainly lead to a traumatic pregnancy and birth
• other distressing life events during your pregnancy and the time of your birth
• a pre-existing phobia, whether for hospitals, blood, childbirth or any other
• any other way in which you felt totally out of control

Indeed some women fear that they are suffering from post traumatic stress or PTSD after the birth of their baby.  If that is you, I really want you to visit my other pages on trauma and PTSD.

Was the delivery traumatic, but the baby healthy?

There is a general expectation that you as a mother - and of course the other parent - should be happy if you have given birth to a healthy baby. This is particularly so if your circumstances are judged by others to be 'ideal'

If you are feeling traumatised by having given birth, then your unhappy experience does not fit the expected ‘script’.  You may then feel torn between revealing and hiding your distress, depending on who you are with at any one time.  However, if your distress is such that you barely feel in control of your feelings, it may 'leak out', despite your utmost to try and to hide it.

Is there a problem with the baby's health?

If there is any kind of health problem with the baby, your and your partner/spouse’s distress  is likely to be attributed solely to your baby having difficulties.  The trauma of the actual delivery of the baby (birth trauma) may remain hidden.

What about you and your partner?

In the meantime there is a good chance that you and your partner may start off believing that suing is the right thing to do.  However, all too often one of the partners (you or your spouse/boyfriend) changes their mind, questioning the sense of it all.  Are you absolutely sure that your relationship is going to be able to stand the stress of such a fundamental disagreement?  A birth trauma will affect you both in very different ways - for obvious, but also much less apparent reasons.

This is not to put you off the process of suing - I hope just to help you making an informed decision, baring in mind the consequences in terms of the important relationships in your life and your mental and emotional well-being.

What help is there for you?

Please be reassured that you can be helped with this as much as any other individual with a traumatic memory.  Contact me for trauma counselling.  I, or any other human givens therapist, can help you to ‘unhook the emotional tag’ from the memory. 

You will then be able to focus on being a mum without being distracted by the birth trauma, without those angry, painful, frightening thoughts, feelings, nightmares and/or flashbacks.

Postnatal depression

Birth trauma can occur alongside post-natal depression. If you are traumatised it may be difficult to distinguish between the two, but really - the sooner you can be helped to recover from the trauma the more likely you can bond with your baby.

You may also be interested in:	Food affects your mood!
How to find a lawyer Finding a birth injury lawyer PTSD treatment PTSD symptoms Dealing with a nervous breakdown Natural depression treatments

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Other helpful links:

Leaflet on Postnatal Depression from the Royal College of Psychiatrists
PNI - forum and information on postnatal illness
PubMed - The link between inflammation and depression and how anti-inflammatory treatment protects maternal health

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News:

20 May 2011 - The Telegraph: Postnatal depression

Images courtesy of: 1 Julia Freeman-Woolpert; 2 Filip Schneider; 3 Aleksandra P.

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