Have you found lately that you’re struggling with arguments in your relationship? Are you living with endless rows, shouting, stonewalling and that horrible sense of rejection?
Well, I’m here to help you to get to grips with what’s wrong, and to show you how you can make things better – both for yourself, and for your partner.
A constantly angry couple is very often an unhappy couple (although this isn’t necessarily always true). Both partners can feel hurt and rejected after every row. Anger sometimes masks the sadness they feel about it all going wrong. Either one or the other is likely to question their compatibility.
I’m hoping that the information here and on my other pages will equip you with ways to better communicate about why you become so 'passionate'.
More than anything, I want to reassure you that even though you argue, your relationship may actually be very strong - perhaps even because of the arguments!
However, it may not all be a bed of roses right now. So, let's get started...
If you constantly argue, you’re likely to make the same communication mistakes over and over again.
I’m guessing that you’re blaming your partner and can't understand why he or she 'isn't getting it' and why things aren't getting any better. I accept, though, that he or she may be to blame, but you do need to find another way to get your point heard.
If you continue to react and behave in the same way I’m afraid the outcome isn't going to change either.
You might also want to take a look at my page: Warning Signs of a Breakup.
All those arguments may have led you to consider ending your relationship or marriage. If so, you might want to get a clearer picture of the situation, and find out for sure if your relationship or marriage has a chance of survival. My Relationship or Marriage Compatibility Test will help you to do just that.
If you suspect that your partner is going to leave you soon, I really want to help you to prepare yourself now, so do visit my page on How to Tempt Your Partner Back.
Now... back to how you can improve your communication and assert your points without causing a damaging row...
It helps if your partner knows in advance that you want to discuss something important, or something that you know would normally cause an argument. Here’s what you should consider:
It can be really helpful to decide on a ‘reward’ for after the conversation. Plan something that you’re both looking forward to doing together.
Conversations about difficult subjects are only a part of your relationship. You can nurture your marriage or relationship by planning new and rewarding activities. (Tip: a new activity increases the level of dopamine - a ‘feel-good’ hormone linked with excitement and energy.)
Read on to Part 2 for tips on how to have a constructive discussion, and How to Stop Arguing...
*Gottman, J., Silver, N. What Makes Marriage Work? Psychology Today, 19 June 2012, via Psychology Today
Image courtesy of: Roger Price