Smart ways of dealing with anger

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

If you feel like you're struggling with anger issues, I'm so glad you've found my pages. I so hope all of the information in this series of three articles will help you identify the cause of your issues, and give you some ideas on dealing with anger.

Do make sure you read Part 1 first to understand exactly what happens to our brains and our bodies when we become angry.


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Other causes of anger

There are many reasons why you might be feeling angry, and some of these may ring a bell with you too...

  • loss of confidence for whatever reason
  • brain injury - forget about management counselling for the moment, you may need more specialised help
  • having been 'allowed' to be angry too much, or spoilt as a child and so not having learnt to deal with anger appropriately
  • deep down enjoying the power it brings
  • substance abuse - alcohol and/or drugs (though you may have ended up with these to cope with the fall-out of a traumatic experience)
  • post-traumatic stress
  • Inflammation (yes, really!*)

These are not excuses for your anger and the damage it may do to other people and your relationships though.

It may well be that you've finally got round to doing something about your anger because your partner is threatening to leave. My advice here is to find the right professional help in dealing with your anger. You can now connect with an online professional right from my site.

Alternatively, if you can't or won't talk to a counsellor, there is much to be gained from doing some self-hypnosis. It is highly effective and user-friendly.

Learn more about hypnosis downloads.

Anger 'management' counselling

I don't like the term 'anger management' counselling. You shouldn't have to 'manage' such a high level of anger. You should just not need to get that angry!

You see - there may not be a real need for you to be angry at all. Here are some issue that may contribute to how you are feeling:

  • depression
  • PTSD
  • stress
  • childhood trauma
  • emotional trauma
  • work-related problems and trauma
  • ... and so on

There's every likelihood that your anger will just disappear when you've got rid of all that 'old stuff'. You do have to make sure that you get the right kind of anger 'management' counselling though. It's unlikely to be helpful for you to regurgitate all your life's troubles week after week (visit my page on How to Find a Counsellor for further information).

However, now that you've started investigating what you can do about your fury, read on for some of my anger management tips ...

Anger associated with stress

There's little point in investing in anger management counselling when you're suffering badly from stress. The real problem in this case isn't your anger - it's your stress level. Stress damages you and the relationships you have with the people around you.

If you have relationship or marital problems then I hope you'll let me help you do something about it. There's loads of expert relationship advice on my site, and I'd love you to start exploring it all now. I'll be here with you every step of the way!

To start you off though, here is my list of strategies...
... to generally improve your mood
...in anticipation of your becoming angry (until such time you've learned to let go)
...for when you're about to explode for when you've lost it completely

When you feel your anger rising, take yourself out of the situation before it's too late!

To start you off learning how to switch off the over-reactions, I thoroughly recommend online hypnosis... before your anger does more damage - to yourself and to others.

Hypnosis is such a gentle but oh-so powerful treatment. It's safe and so effective. I'm absolutely delighted to be able to point you in the direction of the best and most trustworthy people on the internet for the right Hypnosis Downloads.

How to deal with anger when you anticipate it

There are times when you just know in advance that you're going to get into trouble. Here are some anger management tips to help you make those occasions more manageable:

  • Set a time limit on a discussion
  • Deal with one subject at a time
  • Agree to stay calm for that time
  • Plan time to relax and have fun after the discussion
  • Plan to do some aerobic exercise immediately afterwards

Do you feel 'provoked'?

Below is a list of potential provocations. It comes with a cautionary note, though: depending on how you act out your anger - a provocation is not an excuse for you to 'lose it'. However, the list may help you to identify a pattern of when you seem to 'flip' without warning.

You can also use this list to help yourself become aware of how much you use these kinds of behaviours and ways of communicating. It is possible you set people off to become defensive by the way you treat or talk to them.

Potential provocations from you and others...  
Be prepared!

judging

put downs

attacks

trivialising

blaming

sarcasm

sneering

dismissals

threats

pressure

unwanted advice

lecturing

stonewalling

belittling

lying

sulking

shouting

assuming

defending

justifying

humiliating

Unrelenting criticism and name calling are a form of emotional abuse and unacceptable in any relationship.

Anger management self-help

Join me in Part 3 for my top anger management self-help tips and techniques to give you the very best chance of getting your temper under control once and for all.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Other interesting links

*Brainfacts.org - The brain inflamed
Wikipedia: Intermittent explosive disorder

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Elly Prior

Hello! :-)
It's me - Elly Prior, I'm the Founder and Author of this site. I'm a 'real' person! I'm hoping to make a positive difference, small or large, to every person who visits my site.

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