Are you - or is your husband or wife - bisexual?

Part 1, Part 2

Are you attracted to both men and women?

As a (couple) counsellor I have seen couples during my 24 years experience who were in trouble because one of the partners revealed that they were gay or lesbian. What they often did not realise, or weren’t ready to reveal, is that they were possibly bisexual. How I wish though that we didn’t have to use those labels.

You may have found this article, because you too feel attracted to both sexes and  are confused. Maybe you're wondering what bisexuality really means, what the definition is?

I understand how fraught that journey of self-discovery can be. On top of of that, it can be made many times more painful if others see you as somehow ‘not of the right mould’, be they family, colleagues, your religious community or anyone else. How challenging then to ‘come out of the closet’ and reveal who you truly are.

I have therefore asked my friend 'Rob' to help me answer your questions. He speaks from experience and from the heart.

To help you put your personal experience into the context of other people's experience...

Two men - gay or bisexual?"A gay couple", someone else may have thought. But not you!

Are you 'normal', when you like both men and women?

Watch this video so you know you're not alone……

Now I'll let my friend Rob take the stand…

Guest article by Rob

I am bisexual and have written this article having been inspired by the work that Elly has already done on her fantastic website. I am 33 years old and from London in England.

My aim in writing this is to give others hope, when they feel in a dark and lonely place and not able to manage something that is common in society.

Looking back through my life it is now obvious to me that I have always been bisexual, but it took me years to get to the truth.

From straight, via gay, to "I think I'm bisexual!"

Couple engrossed in each other: straight or bi?Straight? Who knows!

I have gone through phases where I primarily tried to convince myself I was straight.

Then there were times where I thought: “You know what? I am obviously gay.”.

Having failed to fit into a ‘pigeon hole’ properly, the penny dropped – I am ‘greedy’, I like both men and women.

I now don't just think I'm bisexual - I know I am.

I've only ever been in relationships with women, however from the number of sexual encounters that I’ve had with men, I am more than comfortable now with who and what I am.

Let down by 'friends'

Life has been tough on the way.

I’ve a failed marriage behind me. And, despite wishing to remain fairly private about being bisexual (‘bi’), I have been let down by so-called friends and associates who should have had more consideration about respecting others' privacy.

Having been exposed to a lot of people as bi, I have become more and more aware of other people out there who are in a similar position to me. Most seem to have no one to turn to and go through life with fear, suppression or both.

Maybe you too have felt very low and have been in very dark places in your thoughts because you’re finding it hard to deal with being bi, and feel there’s no one to talk to. 

If you recognise this, believe me you are not alone, you are in fact normal. If this article helps just one person to understand and accept who they are, then I’m happier.

I also want you to know that it can be hugely helpful to speak with a Qualified Online Counsellor in total confidence. You don't even have to identify yourself.

What questions do you have?

I'm going to share with you my answers to questions (and other resources) I'm frequently asked by people who are wondering if they're bisexual - on the next page

Part 1, Part 2

Related articles

Is your partner, wife or husband bisexual?

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Elly Prior

It's me - Elly Prior, I'm the Founder and Author of this site. I'm a 'real' person! I'm hoping to make a positive difference, small or large, to every person who visits my site.

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Images courtesy of: Thaths, Ed Yourdon