10 Critical signs of alcoholism if you are having a problem and ...
10 Important signs when you suspect your partner has a drinking problem

Perhaps you and I can come up with even more than 10 signs of alcoholism! With over 24 years' experience as a (couple) counsellor and over 8,000 counselling sessions under my belt, I know there are many different signs and symptoms of alcohol misuse.

I've counselled both individuals and couples who struggled with an alcohol problem, and the effects it had on their life and relationship. Often times they would initially present with a relationship or personal problem, such as depression, stress and anger problems problems. Only when they felt safe enough they would tell me about the 'possible' addiction.

This article is for you whether you are the drinker or the partner of someone with an alcohol problem.

For further signs of alcoholism ...

... see my 2 page article on the stages of alcoholism

10 Warning signs of alcoholism

If you think you may be drinking too much alcohol...

As you've landed on this page, I guess you've already started to wonder if you have an alcohol problem. I'm really glad that you're looking for some answers and information, and I hope I can help you out with this.

So, here goes - 10 signs of alcoholism...

  1. You're vaguely aware that you're drinking more than your friends. You may even wear your 'status' of heavy drinking like a badge. You laugh about it and maybe even enjoy the attention it brings.
  2. You're drinking far more than everyone else and you're still standing up. You could of course be part of a group of heavy drinkers - which might mean you're all in trouble! Your body is adapting to the presence of alcohol.
  3. You're initially preoccupied with - and later may become obsessed by - drinking. You're on the look out for opportunities and reasons (or excuses) to drink.
  4. You find yourself lying more and more about the amount and frequency of your drinking. Perhaps you're already well aware that you're in trouble, but maybe you're desperate to deny it to others as well as yourself?
  5. Increasingly you're finding reasons to drink on your own, whether at home, socially or at work/business related functions.
  6. When being challenged, you defend your drinking up to the hilt - 'of course you don't have an alcohol problem'... 'you can stop any time you like, you may even have stopped for a couple of months or so.'  You might have had this kind of conversation with your partner, and you've done all you can to convince him/her that it's their problem and they're overreacting.
  7. You're increasingly drinking during the day, because 'you deserve it', you're tired, had a bad day at work, a row with the boss, are depressed, have something to celebrate, because it is a hot day and so on and so on... I'm sure you get my drift!
  8. You're hiding bottles/cans of alcohol. You have them in the car, in the toilet cistern, at the back of the wardrobe, behind books, in the shed, etc. The 'best' place is, of course, where you can have a secret 'top up'.
  9. You're finding it increasingly difficult to get yourself going in the morning. You've 'rung in sick' more than once, because you simply couldn't function.
  10. The drinking during the day is now starting in the morning to 'help you recover' from your binge the previous day.

If you recognise these signs of alcoholism, I really think you need help. What kind of help you need - only you can decide. What works for one really doesn't necessarily work for another. However, I suggest you start by visiting your doctor to discuss your problem with drinking.

If you're not ready to see your doctor yet, I would really encourage you to at least talk to one of my online experts - in strict confidence.

I also want you sit and watch the following, mind-blowing, presentation...

Can you see why you may be at risk of developing and/or maintaining that addiction? I make absolutely no judgment - I just hope that something in this article will spark you into taking action and getting some help.

Is your partner drinking too much?

Are you worried about your partner's drinking habits? Do you think you may be living with an alcoholic? If so, then I really hope the information here will help you. We'll take a look at the warning signs of alcoholism in your partner that you should look out for - and then at the ways you can cope with the situation.

10 warning signs of alcoholism for partners

If you think you're living with an alcoholic...

I imagine that you've felt hurt, angry, disappointed, embarrassed and ashamed too often. Now you just want to be sure that it's not you with the problem. I know - I really do understand this.

So, here are the 10 warning signs of alcoholism which may point to the fact that your partner may be suffering from an alcohol addiction...

10 Warning signs that your partner or spouse is addicted to alcohol

  1. He/she has been drinking more and more at social gatherings and you now hate going to functions because of that.
  2. You're annoyed that increasingly you're having to pay for things. You would have expected to share the cost of going out, household bills, food, rent, etc. However, over a period of time, you've found yourself paying more than your fair share.
  3. You're increasingly on the receiving end of angry outbursts, hurtful remarks and mood swings.
  4. Your partner is choosing alcohol over safety and sense. Maybe he/she gets behind the wheel of a car after having drunk alcohol, or is in charge of the children whilst under the influence, and/or generally makes bad decisions.
  5. He/she is choosing to stay at home, with an opportunity to drink, rather than going on family outings or accompanying you.
  6. Your partner is caring less about others, let alone you. He/she is becoming increasingly selfish.
  7. Your partner is increasingly 'letting the side down' and becoming unreliable at home, socially and at work.
  8. You're finding hidden stashes of alcohol.
  9. Your partner is starting to neglect him/herself, and no longer takes pride in their appearance. They may have become dirty and smelly. You're finding him/her increasingly less attractive.
  10. It's becoming impossible to have a relationship with him/her. You no longer recognise the person you once loved.

I suspect that you're always hoping that things will improve. But, perhaps it's time for you to really consider if you should stay in this relationship. I wouldn't be surprised if you've been thinking about leaving your partner anyway. If this is the case, do take my relationship test to help you discover what is working in your relationship and what isn't. You'll be better prepared when you have another one of those difficult conversations with your partner.

Are you 'codependent'?

You'll find lots of information elsewhere about co-dependency - meaning that you're likely to 'support' your partner's drinking and 'collude' with him/her. I know that in some relationships that is indeed what happens - to a greater or lesser extent.

However, I have a real problem with the blanket statement that if one is an alcoholic, the other is co-dependent.

See also my article: Married or living with an alcoholic.

How do you cope with an alcoholic partner?

You're never going to be completely independent however hard you try, when you're in a relationship.

Of course your behaviour affects your partner's behaviour. However, human interactions are far too complex to just hand someone the label of 'codependent'.

Why not talk your troubles through with a qualified counsellor? You can connect with a licensed therapist right now about the signs of alcoholism, and how it affects you, and your relationship.

New! Rate this article...

Related articles

Alcoholism and Depression
Living with an Alcoholic
Signs and Symptoms of Alcoholism
Warning Signs of Depression
Depression in Men

Don't know what to do anymore? Need help?
Connect with a licensed therapist now...

Your problem is never too small or too big, too silly or too complicated to ask for help from a licensed therapist.

Connect with your therapist as often as you like in confidence (no need even to give your real name).

Get help now in 3 easy steps:

  1. Click the image below and fill in the three online questionnaires (it takes just a few minutes)
  2. Complete the sign up process
  3. Choose how to pay (it's safe and secure)

Then all you need to do is to write down your troubles!

You won't believe what a breath of fresh air it is to be able to discuss your problems with your own professional. Someone who takes the time to really 'get you' and offer tailored guidance to suit you and your particular circumstances.

CLICK HERE to start now or click the image...

I want to upfront with you - I earn a commission from BetterHelp. This is how I earn an honest income, whilst giving away tonnes of free information throughout my site. You pay the same fee, regardless.

Found this page helpful?
Pay it forward - like and share...

Comment, help or be helped

Elly Prior

Hello you! :-)

It's me - Elly Prior, I'm the Founder and Author of this site. I'm a 'real' person! I'm hoping to make a positive difference, small or large, to every person who visits my site.

Do feel free to ask for help. I would be delighted to write a few lines to support you (please keep it short).

Alternatively -  there are licensed therapists waiting to help you right now. You can connect with a therapist as often as you want on any device, whenever it suits you. For further information, see my page: Online Relationship Advice.